Well I got my answer

Well I laid my heart out again yesterday evening.  Prior to me moving to Texas my ex gave inuendos of us working things out and that her new boyfriend was going to be out the door real soon because they weren't getting along.  So, I kind of banked on that and hoped and prayed things might work out.  See she is the one that kicked me out and then moved into another man's house from Missouri to Illinois and took the kids with her.  Well this was short lived and came running back to me, I was bitter and basically shunned her.  This was my second marriage and my first wife cheated on me as well and before we went into marriage I told my ex that I would not put up with a cheater.  I stuck to my guns and she moved to Utah then near her parents.  She met another man there and then called me up and wanted me to move out there to be with her in April of 2007.  I fell for it hook line and sinker and she got back with him while I was still there....awkward and put on the spot.  So, now I'm feeling like it's all coming around full circle again and I can't go through that again.....I really didn't want the divorce but then again I knew from the past that once a cheater always a cheater.  I've put my heart out again and again for her only to get stepped on again and again.  I just want to be a family again and have what we used to have.  Maybe I'm being selfish and maybe I just haven't moved on.  I dated and lived with a woman for about 8 months and really didn't put my heart into it.  We are still friends and she would lay down and die for me if I told her to, but she's not what I want, is that selfish or stupidity?  What should I do?  Oh by the way my ex just despises my ex girlfriend that I mentioned above but it's okay for her to have a boyfriend and I can't say anything about him and his drinking and fighting with her in front of the kids. 

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