I havent drank or done anything to harm myself in any way since the day I called the cops and they made my husband leave. I have been to a phsychiatrist and he has said that I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Much of the second brought on by my upbringing. The first runs in my family and I am on medication that has done wonders, even though I dont have insurance and its horribly expensive. I also see a therapist/counselor once a week. I have been seeing her for about a month now, and for the first time in my whole life, I am on my way to finding out who I am. I loved my husband, but he did horrible things. And I can say as someone with experiance with mental issues and lots of outside influences, that not everything is the way it seems. I know that my kids came to me for a reason, and I thank God for them every single day many times a day. They are my lifeline and without them, I know that I wouldnt be here now. My ex-h  kept most of the abusive stuff behind out bedroom door for the most part, and for that I am thankful for. I wish more than anything that my kids hadnt witnessed what they did, and I cry everyday with guilt and shame because I didnt do something before then. Please dont take away that mothers children completely. Sometimes, when they feel that there is nothing else good in the world, their children are the only thing that keep them believing. There is always another story, I know my ex-h has one that even he believes,  and always I am to blame. But before anything else, I would suggest a rehab center. Inpatient if she agrees and can handle being away that long, being away from what she believes is causing her this battle will help her, but she also needs support. Outpatient is just as good too. If nothing else, by herself counseling with someone completely intent on helping her and just her, a visit to a phsyciatrist, because the medication brings that short wire in the brain back to normal, and a support system. Good luck

My soon to be ex used to call me crazy so often he actually had me believing it. He called me a lot of things and did a lot of things that had me doubting so many things about myself and everything in my life. He also had me so twisted mentally that I believed him when he said I would never make it without him. I believed everything and had to go to him for his approval on everything. He held the accounts, everything in his name, etc...  There has never been anything in my life that has meant more to me than my children. They kept me sane, even when I didnt know if I really was. I was so scared of everything and everyone. I didnt know who to go to, who to tell. Who would believe me? On the weekends family would take my children and thats when I begin to look for an escape mentally. The government hadnt been there for me when I was a little girl. They had given me back to my mom countless times, so cops werent people I could trust and my ex-h didnt allow me to talk to anyone else. I started to drink on the weekends when my kids werent there to escape everything that I couldnt escape in real life. After a year and a half of everything I had taken from my husband, I finally got the nerve to call the cops after one episode when the kids thank God where with family. They charged him with assault on a family member and took him to jail. Like an idiot soon after he started calling soon after with threats and tearful entreaties about changing etc... and even threatened to take his life if I didnt help him get the charges dropped. On the day of the trial he made sure I had no way of getting to the courthouse, and the charges are now pending to be dropped as soon as he finishes an 18 week course. As soon as he made sure I didnt show up, he abandoned me with a 6 month lease on the house, no vehicle, no money, no work history as I wasnt allowed to work or go to school etc..and filed for divorce. I was also pregnant and when I told him he said get an abortion. I miscarried...

Since I am not knowledgeable in your life, I cant say you are wrong, but I can say, that I would not say that alcohol abuse is brought on solely by mental illness. To be completely honest its not the mental illness that brings it on but the reaction to something, that causes that spark to seek a way to escape the pain. Something happens in the life of someone affected by a mental illness, and more times than none, the person with the illness never learned to deal with pain, or hurt or rejection or whatever it is that is going on. Trust me, never learning to deal with that growing up and having to learn how to later on in life is very very difficult. They search for ways that they have either escaped it in the past or ways they have seen others do so. Dont get me wrong, most try to fix what it wrong, but depending on their lives growing up and the people they love and depend on the most to be there for them in their lives now, there can be so much working against them that its almost impossible to ever see or hear or feel, the path to themselves. It has taken me my whole life to get to where I am today and its only now that I am a few steps towards knowing who I am. I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive life, being controlled by my parents and told I was a failure every step of the way. From there I married a man I was very much in love with, who was very much more abusive physically, mentally and emotionally. That side came out soon after we got married and I cant even begin to explain to you the pain I felt everyday when I would dedicate my every minute to figuring out how to make my marriage work and my ex-h making me feel like it was my fault the whole time that it wasnt. Not only was I going through that, and not realizing that it wasnt right at the time because I went through it most of my childhood and was used to being treated that way, but my kids watched me being treated that way. They were never hurt but even now my 4yr old worries about me

Personally I would call and ask a lawyer or attorney, they dont charge for legal advicesee what they have to say about it first. Some states require you to be a resident for so long before getting a divorce and would moving the children away from their mother affect them negatively? I know she isnt a good role model but she is still their mother after all. If the kids are still young then they wont really remember much, if they are teens ask them how they would feel about it. Thats just my advice I hope it helps a little bit.