Need advise.

I have been in a relationship for 16 ½ years, he has raised my daughter from previous marriage of 6 years like she was his own, she is now 16 yrs. I am now 43 years old I have been through a lot with this man, verbal abuse and mental abuse, we never married he always told me that the day I do as he says he would, he has always worked a grave yard shift and never home in bed with me or showed the attention I was needing. I have spoke out to family members about our problem but they never wanted to get involved.. So I have continued with this relationship believing he would change, but just this last year april 2007 I finally realized that I could not take this anymore and my daughter was starting to feel the affects also now that she was old enough to understand. I have always been over weight about 80 pounds and he has always verbal abused me about it and made me feel like crap instead of encouraging me to loose it. A lot of it had to do with depression and I would gain the weight. So in April I started going to gym and loosing weight and met people there that motivated me and told me what a good job I was doing, I also met a man that treated me like a woman should be treated, he was everything that I wanted my man at home to be like. Well as time went by things got worse and I began to see this guy at the gym after workouts and started talking a lot on the cell phone. I was really feeling good about my self, my looks and weight loss. I started dressing sexy and wearing clothes that made me feel good. Well about November, the man I lived with took notice one morning how I was looking and started accusing me of seeing someone at work. I told him that I always dressed like that he just never noticed. So I finally told him I was moving out that I couldn’t take this life anymore. Well he did a complete turn around and wanted me to stay , he loved me and my daughter, he wanted to marry me and didn’t want to loose his family. HE even got wedding rings made and proposed to me, and I turned him down, I told him you didnt want it when I wanted it but now that you are loosing me you want me to just say ok I do.Well I moved out in January 2008, started dating this guy from the gym, everything was ok, but not really, I still had this wanting for the man I left, and the man I was seeing started changing after we been dating for 4 months just wasn’t what he made himself to be in the beginning. So I called it off with him and decided to try to mend my relationship with the guy of 16 ½ years, we have agreed to get counseling and and he has agreed to change his ways. I am really sick about it all, I am going to loose my relationship with my sister and family if I go back to this man, so I have a lot on my shoulders right now. So any advise on my decision to try to make things work??     

Cast your vote