Do I stay or go?

I have been married for 8 years to my husband.  Sex has always been so-so but I figured that no one is perfect and all the other things (many material) that he offers more than make up for it and he is overall a great guy who loves me and I love.  But as time has passed, other things as well have gotten worse.  His temper (always there) has gotten worse and if he gets really mad he tells me to F>>> off and that kind of thing.  Plus he is very controlling when it comes to decisions and says that he is "captain"of the ship.   There are many great qualities about him and he is willing to go (and is going now) to counseling as he knows that I am unhappy.  What he does not know is that I had a month long affair (no sex but emotional closeness and great attrraction) and now I don't know if I even want to be with him anymore.  This other person awakened in me that I could have a greater intimacy than I have and be respected and not yelled at.  Part of me wants to just get out and start over.  However, we are not very liquid in assets right now (even if I wanted out) and I am super confused.  Can a person fall "back" in love even if they were never that attracted (at least sexually) in the first place?  Am I making too big of a deal about that?  It just seems that I should enjoy that aspect of my life as well.  BTW, I have never cheated in the past and that is not my nature.   

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