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3/24/2008 10:41:37 PM
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I want to leave but I don't want to hurt my wife.

We have been married for over 18 years and the marriage has been very unromantic the whole time. The lack of romance has become unbearable for me. I'm to the point where I don't even want to work on it any more. Yesterday I asked her if she loved me and she couldn't say she did. She just said she cares about me and wants to work on saving the marriage. She started crying and it broke my heart. We can't say we love each other and I have no desire to work on this any longer. I'm ready to leave and begin a new happier chapter of my life but yet I don't want to hurt her. What do I do? 


by RichBrewer   214 Posts   read more from user >>
Posted on 3/17/2008 9:41 PM
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Comments for "divorce360.com | I want to leave but I don't want to hurt my wife."  (10) (You must be logged in to answer)
I should have listened to your advice. Instead I have been pretty down. I don't know what to do! I think I need to get on with this and stop thinking about it!
by RichBrewer   214 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 9:00 PM
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Believe me, it helps me to know others feel as I do also.  Thats what this site is all about...helping each other...much better than trying to do it alone.

Do something just to make yourself happy tomorrow.  It doesn't need to be anything big, just something that makes you smile.  It helps.

Thank you for your support and encouragement also.
by starr1   187 Posts
Posted on 3/19/2008 11:36 PM
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It is so encouraging to hear some one else who feels like I do. I don't feel so alone through all of this.
I think I have done all that I can do. Certainly all that I want to do. Time to move on

No kidding about change being scary. This is going to be tough for me. I've never been much for change so it is going to be very stressful.  I will not let that stop me though. One day at a time sounds like a good plan for now. It all seems so overwhelming to me.
Starr thank you once again for the kind words and encouragement. It really helps.
by RichBrewer   214 Posts
Posted on 3/19/2008 10:09 PM
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Rich,  I can relate to everything you are saying.  I also was mad at myself for letting things go on for so long.  It is not easy (at all) to let years of being with another just slip away.  At times I would actually feel a pain in my chest, when I would think about ending the marriage.  I know I made the right decision, but it was very hard for me. 

I agree with you, I never want to live like that again.  If you know in your heart you have done everything possible to salvage your marriage, there is nothing more to do.  It takes 2.

Change is very scary and a real challenge.  Be good to yourself, take each day as it comes.  I know this site has really helped me through some bad days.  It has been a Godsend.  Have a good day and let me know how things are going.
by starr1   187 Posts
Posted on 3/19/2008 4:31 PM
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The children don't know yet but I'll bet they suspect something. I don't want to drag them into this until the right time. (If there ever is a right time).
I know what you mean about feeling alone. I am as lonely now as I was when I was single. Of course I was happier then...
I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do but it is becoming more and more painful. It would be so much easier to just go back to the way things were but I never want to live like that again. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty mad at myself for letting this go on for as long as it has.
Thank you so much for the kind words.
by RichBrewer   214 Posts
Posted on 3/19/2008 3:58 PM
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