Do I stay out of it?

Gawd I love you guys! I'm for the additional poll answer.

I say you need another sentence in the poll.

Find someone new and let him figure out what is important in life.

Are you sure you are not me and I am not you and your bf is my guy and he is him.Mine doesn't like or want any type of conflict and I didn't figure out how much he will do to stay away from conflict until recently. I knew he did whatever it took even an extreme amount of deception/lies (not even good enough to be called white lies in my book) to keep from conflict. The sicko conversations with the "X", the control and manipulation from the "X", the impact on the kids, and them starting to not like me, etc... A complete nightmare I DID NOT MARRY this man to be in her shadow or have the kids push him away from me by sitting between us, whining to go somewhere and I am not invited, causing tifts of complaints so he would focus ALL attention on them (difficult to explain but there were many issues with the "X" and kids - many threats from them and situations to disheartening to mention right now) AFter he walked out on me - he actually told me that the "X" wants him to take the kids full time and since he's not with me anymore, she can move and she wants him to follow later after the school year is through. I know this is an old post but I wanted to respond so I could vent. I don't forsee your situation getting better unless your bf learns to stand up for him. In doing so he will be standing up for his children and you too. I hoped for a better married life together but I began not trusting anything he said and did because even his youngest said he lies a lot just to make things easier. NO CONFLICT. Life is filled with conflict - it's how we deal with it... What upsets me is if he leaves me to go back into the games played before with the "X". My God man - have enough ______ to move on. I pushed mine to bring the "X" to court to fight for his rights to be followed through (she kept the kids from him for several months because he married me, etc) I pushed mine to call police if he needed when he picked up the kids. Eventually he pushed me out of his life NO CONFLICT...

I am a hands on fix it type person. I am learning to let him handle things. Check out my journal entries...
Lifes lessons are learning...how to cope and deal with what comes your way.
I am stepping back, letting it go and seeing how he handles it. I have told him that he can choose to deal with things however he wants. That I am stepping out of the situation. BUT when her crap flows into my personal life with my kids or my business that I am stepping up to the plate and will not tolerate it. I told him that I cannot make him do things ..nor can I do them for him. But if he chooses to let it come between us then he is not the man for me. I am now just waiting to see what happens...
Yes I do love him. I have been in his shoes with others controlling my life and have had to learn to deal with it. He control will not be a part of it. It is one thing if a judge says so. I can deal with that. But she is just too much.

I agree with it must be me.  I am in the same situation as you and believe me it does not get any better.  I have been in this situation for 3 years and now she is taking us to court for custody (my bf has custody) and child support.  She doesn't really want teh kids it is just another way for her to torture us. I have also paid dearly emotionally.  I am now asking myself that although I love him is this really worth it?

I agree with it must be me.  I am in the same situation as you and believe me it does not get any better.  I have been in this situation for 3 years and now she is taking us to court for custody (my bf has custody) and child support.  She doesn't really want teh kids it is just another way for her to torture us. I have also paid dearly emotionally.  I am now asking myself that although I love him is this really worth it?

Not taken as rude. Not at all. I have thought so at times myself.

I'm not trying to be rude here, honestly, but maybe you should just find a new boyfriend. I would stay out of how they interact with each other. It may make you crazy but it's his choice to allow it to be so.