My ex won't go away!

I was married for 17 years- am 43 and have 2 children ages 9 and 7.  Divorced in October after husband began spiraling out of control with alcohol and drug issues in addition to physically harming me twice over a 10 day period.  After filing for divorce in January, I slowly proceeded to try and help my husband I was in denial about his behavior and alcoholism.  I was unsure if my husband had a bi-polar issue, was an alcoholic or just kooky- during this period I asked him to move out- he did- I asked him to go to a treatment facility - he did- begrudgingly.  He taped my phone conversations-  I found out he had been seeing a woman on and off for many years (6) who lived in another state but who visited him or met him out of town.  He had several affairs prior to my children's births and we separated then.  We got back together and I thought everything was okay.  I guess he was just more careful because I had no idea he was having an affair!  On our anniversary (in April) I learned that this woman had been staying with and sleeping with him during our separation.  This was the final straw and I asked for immediate process of the divorce.  The most difficult part of all of this has been the very unusual way that my ex behaves with me.  He has been trying to persuade me throughout this whole ordeal that this other woman is his "companion", his friend and that he really only wants to be with me- the mother of his children!  He just returned from a 10 day trip with his "companion" (did I mention that she is married!) wherein she read all of his emails to me expressing his love for me and wishes to get back together as a family!  I have never responded to any of these emails.  I have no intention of getting back together with him as I can see no way to get past the trust issues.  He claims to have had no alcohol or drugs but is not attending any meetings or programs.  I don't believe him but have no way of knowing since I no longer live with him. 
    My question is - have any of you ever encountered someone who seems to have 2 personalities- is in total denial about "this other life he is leading?"  I think he truly believes that if we seek counseling together that we can get back together and become a family once again.  He has strong beliefs that I am at fault for not "forgiving him- he believes that he still loves me- he misses his family etc., etc.  At this time he is at work and my 2 precious children are at his apartment with his girlfriend whom I only know as someone who has extremely different values than I.  The only good thing about this is that my children would rather be with my ex's girlfriend than him! 

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