Moral Question for YOU

Telling her parents won't solve anything. And it especially won't take away the hurt and betrayal you feel. At most, it'll only distract you from it for a time. And as you've already indicated, it seems the situation has already caused a lot of pain for your daughter. Since your (ex)husband can't see far enough beyond himself to protect her, that job falls upon your shoulders, too. You need to get yourself untangled from this man as soon as possible with as much of your integrity intact as you can manage. Good luck to you!

S, there is no reason to apologize for anything. I mean obivously we feel for you! This is a painful and traumatic thing for ANYONE to go through and that it is directly affecting your daughter is just APALLING!!! Anyhow...as painful and awful this all is you just need to re-group and find that courage in yourself to show him and all others that you ARE the bigger person. I know, I KNOW easier said then done! That anger will probably not subside until the divorce is final and you are starting to get more distance between him and his "situation". But just know this is a great platform to vent on before your take things further and say or do something you might regret. It might not be much...but its a start. Take care and stay strong. *hugs*

Yes, I am angry, no dought. I have stayed out, as my daughters request. But, I have been getting angrier, in court. I have watched he use my love against me in court, to weasel his way out of responsibility. I can't even use his infidelity, because of IL law? This really sucks. Our divorce has been going on for quite some time now. He has ever even made me an offer in over a year. I have tried to negociate, but the only answer I get is, I'm sorry I can't say anything until I speak with my attorney. Whatever. He's really turned into a wuss. I did't mean to offend any members. I just noticed there were some in a similar situation. Your right, it dosen't matter. But, if someone had suggested something they had done that had helped, I was willing to listen. I thought that was part of what this group was for. s

And your still married to him,,,,WHY? What does your daughter think? and how can you still be with this sick man. Are you still living with him? or are you in the process of a divorce? Who cares what the those two are doing, just get as far away from that situatiion as you can.

None of these votes really account for what I am thinking. I do think it is awful and disgusting but at the same time it is my position, because she is an adult, not to be meddling just because you are angry about his descions and immaturity in this. You interjecting yourself in this situation might end up blowing up more in your face and causing more animosity and trouble than what it is worth. This girl will be 50 with kids one day and have to face a lot more deamons then what she will have by facing her parents when it ends up coming out...cause they WILL end up finding out...one way or another without you interjecting. Just my 2 cents...