divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Community  :: pushka's Stuff  :: pushka's Blog

  click here 
Personal Tags

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
You can search for Blogs by tag here:

Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

Well and on to atty #3 

Honestly, I can't believe I'm typing this however I am looking at getting another atty.  My atty is leaving town at the beginning of the year.  I was floored to say the least and I just found out on Friday via a general letter.  I will be making an appointment to find out what I can do with her.  I'm not going to get thrown under the bus because she's leaving.  I have an idea of someone I would like to ask.  I can't do another retainer.  I wish I could just go pro se and get a consultant because after all of the OP stuff .. LOL .. I'm very comfortable in front of the judge and the judges both I deal with know I'm not stupid. 


Any advice, .. I know what I am going to look for I'm going to talk to some other atty's .. ironically .. LOL .. I've met a LOT of different atty's in town.  It's crazy to think.


STBAX hasn't seen the kids for 5 months at this point.  Hasn't signed the parenting agreement.  The criminal charges are pending for the violation of the OP.  Nothing has changed at this point.  Oh I have an EOP until 1/30/14 so I guess that is a good thing. 


Anyway, .. any advice, .. any words of wisdom I would appreciate them. 


Hugs P :)


PS - I'm really doing ok.  I should add he's still in contempt of court.  What else is new. 

by pushka  370 Posts 

Posted on 12/8/2013 5:10 PM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend

Tags: legal issues , difficult ex
<< Previous Post  |  Blog posts by pushka  |  Next Post >>

Comments for "Well and on to atty #3"  (7) (You must be logged in to answer)

Miss NotJulieG .. THANK YOU!! I am going to pursue a few things. I did get a leg up on some things since I last posted I found out some information that will help. First off, I can have the court closed because she is a minor. His atty is an ass and I have no doubt he would and will try to intimidate her. I can also ask to go first that way I can stay in court while she testifies. She will be out of the room until I'm done. She has asked to face him because he's gaslighting her and has done so to me over the years really crazy stuff and this is not the first alcohol related issue that has sprung up .. they will focus on the violation of the OP and he was highly intoxicated during that time. Second off, myself, girlie girl and my little guy are in counseling. My daughters therapist is off the hook great! She's going to be working with her on anxiety and explaining in general terms what will happen in court. We had a joint session and talked about what she's responsible for and she's only responsible for telling the truth .. that is all. The judge is her advocate and so is the States Atty .. both of them I am familiar with and I have had a hearing with the judge for the divorce stuff he's a really great guy and again .. he's going to be PISSED to put it mildly. Third off, I'm just hoping this lights a fire under the stbx that he just decides he wants out .. period. He is facing jail the least amount of time he will get at least this is my understanding is probation, he will have to do an alcohol assessment classes again AND probation. I would prefer a few extra things we will see how cooperative the atty gets when he realizes how bad this is about to get for his client. I will be doing some solid research over the next couple of weeks on the atty issue .. it's just kind of crazy at the moment and I'm DEF going to look into filing the contempt charges because it's another issue and another one that has been ignored by this atty. She wants me to pay her .. well helloooo .. I need the money to do so .. I have NO job. Already have some
by pushka   370 Posts
Posted on 1/2/2014 3:53 PM

Darn! about the retainer.

Report his contempt to the court. Tell the court about your dire financial situation, that your children are not only dealing with the upheaval of divorce, but are also facing homelessness. Don't hold back.

I like the idea of you using an attorney as a consultant. If you do it "pay as you go" and make exactly what you want clear, it should work. Finding an attorney who is willing to go that route may be tough. This would be tough to, but you could go visit attorneys for those "first consultation free" visits. A paralegal can check over the paperwork - not tell you how to fill in the blanks, but can make sure that you've done it completely and have used the right words - for a lot less than an attorney would charge for the same service.

Fortunately, you don't need to wait around, watching your life circling the drain, to decide that you've had enough. You're on the right path. 

If you haven't done it, research every possible way you can get financial help - from free or reduced price lunches for the kids at school to churches to welfare (if you have a child 5 yrs or under WIC), to the utilities companies for help with those bills. Some school nurses are good sources for guidance, same with school social workers. You paid taxes and made donations to support those programs when you could, now you need a hand. You won't get it if you don't reach out.

Putting your daughter on the stand may well be giving her the hammer and nails needed to seal the coffin of Daddy-o ever getting alone time with her or her siblings. That's not a bad thing.

Your stbx has a simple life - he drinks, he gets drunk. He's in denial and will continue to be until he hits his bottom. 

We're here for you.
by NotJulieG   3319 Posts
Posted on 12/29/2013 9:56 PM

Unfortunately there is NO retainer left .. I have had her for a year many visits to court where nothing was accomplished .. I'm beyond the pale and it gets weirder and weirder. My daughter and I have now been called to testify in the OP violation. It's a bench trial and I can't believe although I do because he's just so far into the disease of alcoholism his brain isn't functioning. This will be happening 1/23/14 .. I'm very angry is putting it mildly .. I was really hoping he would have sense NOT to put her on the stand. He's looking at going to jail for 365 days. He really believes what he did wasn't wrong and the State feels there is a strong enough case and they aren't the only ones .. the mediator also told me the state has a lock down case and this was in September if he went to trail he was not telling his atty everything AND he was probably looking at jail time. The judge in the case is also our divorce judge he is going to be PISSED .. Omgosh .. I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, for such a simple man as he constantly tells me he is .. he complicates EVERYTHING. I haven't decided what I am going to do about the atty. I do want an atty involved however .. I want a consultant .. I don't want them going to court and so on .. I just want someone I can bounce what I can and can't do off of. there is no more money left .. I am going to be evicted out of where I'm living because of the fact he's not paying what he should and honestly this has consumed me to the point I can't think about anything else right now. I actually would be relieved if he went to jail .. I could leave .. I could do a million things that I can't do at the moment. I don't see this ending well for him. I could be wrong .. he has NO clue what the state has and if he does he's choosing to ignore his atty. So now .. I don't know .. I have my daughter in therapy and she's got an appointment on Monday. He is gaslighting her and has me for years .. it has been emotional and mental terrorism .. now he's transferring that to her to keep himself out of tro
by pushka   370 Posts
Posted on 12/29/2013 6:05 PM

First, you a chunk of your retainer to the moving-out-of-town attorney should still be on the books. That's your money, not the attorney's. You can ask for the remainder of your retainer - and you should not be charged for the time it takes to prepare the check.

Second, I know that you have a good head on your shoulders. Having an attorney gives you a second brain (who is not emotionally involved in any of the divorce) and can prevent you from doing something that seems like a good idea now, but will hurt you and/or your kids in the long run. You could, if you needed to amputate your leg, do the job with a chainsaw. A surgeon would do a much tidier job, and the wound won't get infected. Anesthesia would be administered, too - not a bad thing. 

When kids and a potential scofflaw noncustodial parent are involved, getting a divorce without an attorney involved is pretty risky. Having an attorney review the final papers before you sign would be better than nothing.

We're here for you.
by NotJulieG   3319 Posts
Posted on 12/26/2013 7:18 PM

The atty is MOVING not leaving town for a few days.  I wish it was just that I could care less if she took a vacation .. she pretty much blind sided me with the information I didn't even get 30 days.  I was hit with a 2k bill for NOTHING and I feel at this point she has taken full advantage of my situation and now I'm out of money, still not divorced and nothing has been done for the over 10k I have already paid.  My STBX just won't move on the divorce it's as if he thinks it's all just going to go away.  I'm heart broken that this isn't over yet and while I understand some cases take a long time there is no reason for this to be dragging on the way it is .. I'm actually considering going to the Bar Association because the charges for what she has actually done are over the top.  After telling me for months we couldn't have a settlement meeting NOW she wants to schedule one .. I still have an OP and that was the reason she said we couldn't have a settlement meeting.  I hope that clarifies a few things.
by pushka   370 Posts
Posted on 12/26/2013 1:32 PM

I agree with Haboo.  You may be comfortable in front of the judges at this point, but, you still need an attorney. 

 I also wonder why you are so ready to throw this attorney away because she's leaving town for a few days.  Lawyers have lives, too. Your case is not the only one she's working on.  Is anything going to be scheduled while she's gone?  Don't be so gung ho to get rid of her just yet.  She knows the ins and outs of your case.  If you go with another one, that person has to learn the case.  And, that will set you back possibly months.
by Dactyl   5834 Posts
Posted on 12/10/2013 8:24 AM

My opinion for what its worth: I would not choose to proceed without an attorney. Too much is at stake & you could pay in the long run.
by haboo   1075 Posts
Posted on 12/10/2013 12:02 AM

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 14 Real Life Ways To Save Money
Do Divorce And Money Mix?

2. You Just Found Out They Cheated, Now What?
8 Things You May Not Know About Cheating

3. African-Americans and Marriage
African-Americans are Less Likely to Marry and More Likely to Divorce, Studies Show

4. Don't Get Even...Get Mad
Yes, Anger Can Save Your Relationship. Here's How.

5. Divorce = $100,000
Love is Grand, but When It's Gone, Divorce Can Cost More Than Twenty Grand