I asked my wife to divorce me and file for full custody of our daughter cause I am done with all of this and moving on with my life. 

Sometime back I went to a divorce lawyer regarding my desire to divorce my wife. After talking to him (and listening to others here) I had to agree that now is not the time for me to file divorce. I have to many other distractions, stress, and limited resources to add divorce to my shoulders. I am better off cleaning up my life and lowering my stress before I engage in a divorce. Sucks, but it’s the best for right now.

I went back to that same lawyer about a week later and we discussed how to handle my wife’s constant verbal attacks and threats to take my daughter away from me during a divorce. He explained completely what would happen during my divorce and custody battle. Basically, my wife can not legally get full custody of our daughter and have me taking out of her life cause my behavior and actions since the birth of J have been of a normal adult and dad. Nothing bad or harmful. We would be forced to coming to some kind of terms over custody, but nothing that would cost me my daughter. That was really good news and removed my biggest fear. However…

This did not addressed how to handle my wife’s attacks and threats. He suggested that I tell my wife to divorce me and file for full custody. That my wife may not know it yet or she may, either way, my wife is not holding a winning hand. She is just playing off my fear of me loosing my daughter. If I want this to stop, I need to force her hand and the reality of it out to the open. Call her on her threats and see what reaction she will have. At first I disagreed with him, but thought he might be right on this. It’s risky, but I have to do something. Her attacks and threats really stress me out.

Well, I did just that about two weeks ago and ever since then, my wife has been silent. No attacks or threats and very little conversation of any kind. I assumed that I shocked my wife and she has seen a lawyer of her own. Not sure if she has, but I do believe my lawyer was right. She was not really holding a winning hand, just playing off my fear of loosing my daughter. By tell her to divorce and file full custody, I removed her only real threat against me, my fear. Without that, she is powerless over me and can’t win.

Even if this goes to court, it won’t be her winning. It’ll be about us and the judge concluding what’s best including mediation first. What ever my wife thinks about our divorce and child custody, she doesn’t have power over it or me anymore. The courts will when divorce is eventually filed. My biggest fear is now gone and I am free of my wife’s control for good. She is no longer the queen.

Here’s the real interesting part. My wife asked me last night to save our marriage and I told her nope. Boom, now she is on the receiving end of me in control of my life. Let her see me for once as a man and not a puppet she controls. There will be another blog about this recent event. Man, my life is never just normal. Always an issue. At least I am now in control of my life and how these endless issues impact my life. At least this is a step forward.