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are you ok? 

IVE BEEN GONE A COUPLE MONTHS NOW.I AM ADJUSTING PRETTY WELL AFTER THE 4TH AFFAIR I GUESS I WAS MORE READY FOR IT THIS TIME!!BUT I GET THIS TEXT THE OTHER NIGHT AND IT SAYS ARE YOU OK?WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?I TRIED TO IGNORE HER THEN THE NEXT ONE COMES IN SAYING I AM SO SORRY AND I WISH I DIDNT HURT YOU ARE YOU GOING TO BE OK?I AM SURE I WILL BUT RIGHT NOW IM NOT.MY FAMILY WAS DESTROYED AGAIN AND I AM STARTING OVER AND GETTING STRONGER BUT REALLY IS ANYONE OK AFTER BEING CHEATED ON?I TOLD HER I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS I FORGIVE HER JUST GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE.SO SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF BEFORE SHE CAN THAT THE GUILT IS KILLING HER.ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS ISNT EIGHTH GRADE ANYMORE AND I SURE AM NOT GETTING INTO MIND GAMES THIS TIME.WE HAVE TO WAIT 6 MONTHS OF SEPERATION TO FILE,BUT AS SOON AS THAT TIME COMES I WILL BE BETTER AND I WILL HAVE A BETTER LIFE WITHOUT THE CHEATING,YELLING,AND SITTING JUST LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW WONDERING WHERE YOU ARE AND WHO YOUR WITH!!!!SO NO IM NOT OK BUT I AM SURE ON MY WAY!!!DO THEY ALWAYS WANT TO TELL YOU HOW SORRY THEY ARE JUST TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THE END?I GUESS IF THEY REALLY CARED ABOUT OUR FEELINGS WE WOULDNT BE ON HERE.JUST SAYING!!!!!!!HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY EVERYONE.
by imlonely  53 Posts 

Posted on 2/21/2010 10:24 AM
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Tags: are you ok , cheating , sorry
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Comments for "are you ok?"  (11) (You must be logged in to answer)




Honestly do they really feel guilt?  Truthfully, 4 times and calls
and asked how are you....the other four she made bad
choices with and you are the calm...no longer pick up....

I could be wrong but is she checking to make sure she has
someone to run too...do not be the one that opens the front door.
She slammed it shut long ago.  Some never change...as much as
we want to believe...in our hearts we know what to expect.

It is so hard to leave someone we love...when they never
really loved us back...good things will come to you when you
erase the bad.  Take care and let us know for we believe
in one who does not leave for another.
by Joyful   2708 Posts
Posted on 2/23/2010 2:40 PM
0





I've been there. She probably is a little sorry, but after 4 affairs, she doesn't even deserve to talk to you, and you have put up with enough of her shit. If she was really that sorry, she would have never done it over and over. You'll be alright, belive me, it will just take a little time.

The other thing is, she may have some guilt about all she has done, and one way of her making it better is to befriend you how ever she can. In her mind she is saying to herself, well it must have not been that bad, because we are still friend, or he still talks to me.

Everyones situation is different, and handled different but after my X had her second affair, my mind was made up. It was still pretty hard. I severed almost all contact, other than the decree and the kids. I didn't discuss anything else. It was tough, I treated it like losing a loved one, cause it was in a way. Even though she was still alive, the person I knew was gone forever.

Anyway, it has been 3 years for me, and I can assure you that there are alot of great people(women) out there that you will not have to worry about trust issues with, but also know that from now on it is your life and you don't have to do any thing that you don't want to. That includes engaging with your cheating X.

Stay Strong
by ItsOKnow   85 Posts
Posted on 2/22/2010 11:15 AM
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You forgave her- you have done your part. She is full of guilt and is trying to  make her self feel better. I agree- tell her to go talk to someone else to make her guilt go away. You need not keep discussing it with her- you need to move on.
You will feel better  - keep that attitude. Her guilt now is her problem!
by mtnvly   4119 Posts
Posted on 2/22/2010 7:47 AM
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My ex is dumb but she ain't stupid. She knows I am ok. If I get depressed I'll go for a little excursion to the beach, mountains, or the lake. I'm ok when I bought myself a Caddillac. I'm ok when I take me and the kids out to dinner, I'm ok when I go to the beach and enjoy myself. Mine knows I was on this earth for 24 yrs without her sorry ass and I can make it another 24 yrs without her sorry ass. Tell that whore wife of yours you are ok and happy that you are rid of a sorry ass whore who works the hardest when she is laying on her back. That should end any and all those stupid texts. I am sorry you have to endure this emotional abuse so she can feel that she is the mature stable minded one here in reality she is  a lying cheating whore who can't be honest with herself much less anybody else.
by gregory1969   2022 Posts
Posted on 2/22/2010 7:39 AM
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Have to agree with everyone else. Imagine ten years from now and how bad you will feel to have wasted them on this person. Just focus on kids and being positive. people cheat because they hate their partner but lack the courage to do the right thing. So don't buy into the drama. Find a real person.
by seals99   63 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 2:40 PM
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Text her back and tell her,

STOP BUGGING ME. GO TELL YOUR GUILT TO A PRIEST.
by felix7   478 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 12:14 PM
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Tell her in no uncertain terms that her guilt is not your problem.  And then go as "no contact" as your situation will allow.
by mike1493   3674 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 11:51 AM
0





My STBX sent a similar text. It means nothing. It is only their way of pretending to themselves that they are actually good people who care about you and your welfare. If they cared that much, they wouldn't have cheated to begin with.
Suggest to your STBX wife that a good therapist can help her with her well-deserved guilt feelings. But it's not  your problem any longer.
by EmTee   343 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 11:48 AM
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imlonely,

Im sorry to hear what you are going through. It does get better. Im saying this because i experienced a similar situation a few months back. My wife still texts me and asks retarded questions like am i ok. Its annoying and too little too late at this point. I've been seperated 8 months. My wife moved away and began to date and distance herself. I found out her reasoning and what actually had taken place on Christmas day. So i want you to stay positive and remain focused on taking care of yourself and your kids. I've learned alot from sharing my stuff with others and having this dialogue. It really helps so take advantageof it.
by JCP   16 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 11:39 AM
0





I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.  It sucks, but you will be strong and come out on the other side a better person.  I can't tell you what you should do, but I know that instituting a policy of NC (No Contact) with my STBX was enormously helpful.  I don't answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, unless it's something I choose to deal with.

They don't always want to tell you they're sorry.  Mine didn't/doesn't.  But you are right that the only reason she wants to tell you that is to make HER feel better...not you.  You DO NOT need to listen to that because it won't help you.  When you decide to forgive her, you will do it for yourself, not for her...and you don't need to tell her about it.  It's just part of  the healing process.

Hope the rest of your day is great!
by tracybmc   161 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 10:51 AM
0





There is only one person who can stop this madness:  not her, but YOU.  She will continue to cheat as long as you continue to condone it by taking her back.  She on't change--she's got it too good.  She has you waiting at home as the loyal devotd husband while she has her fun fling on the side. 

Time for you to pull the plug.  The abuse will continue as long as you let it.
by Iam   6957 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2010 10:46 AM
0







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