Have I"ve been dumb or in love? 

Was I dumb or really in love to have given my cheating STBX husband so many chances to work things out with me?  As the year of my separation comes up, I don't know which of the two I am. I've wanted to think of myself as a romantic fool who really loves despite any negative force in the world. Yet, I also wondered, when is it considered true love or simply stupidity or perhaps lack of self-esteem?.  I really did want to try giving my husband of 17 years at least another chance to proove that he loved me and was trully sorry for his cheating behavior. Yet in the last year, it's been at least six or seven times, that I let him into my heart, because he stated that he still loved me. In return, we date and live a few weeks of new romance and physical connection. Then out of the blues, he distances himself from me, and argues over petty things. He doesn't call and has told me that perhaps it's better to stay separated.  It seems to me that he likes to be with me, yet is then afraid of loosing the freedom, which he's has been living all thru the year. I am finally concluding that only I can put a stop to this behaviour. As much as I love him and am attracted to him, I will not allow him to walk back into my life anymore. So my decision is made, just now I wish I could stick to it for good. Has anyone out there had a similar experience? If so please tell me what finally happened? Is there hope for me real soon?