It's my party and I'll cry if I want to 

I'm only a state away if you ever want to escape for a day or two (and man-bash of course!!!!)

;)

I found out about my ex last october - i left him in june - ive talked to my father many times since, and i still havent told him a word.

I already know he will not be supportive and thats the last thing i can deal with on top of everything else.

Im kind of enjoying living in a strange place where noone knows me or judges me or knows my personal stuff.

Im really glad you had a fab birthday - just remember "your friends are Gods apology for your family"

;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!  You are welcome to come and visit me anytime :)  I say party like a rockstar, go crazy with yourself, and bring in this next year of your life in style!!!  I am thinking we need to organize a DIVORCED MAMA's weekend!!! Lord knows we could all use eachother!  Anyway, Happy Birthday....This will be the BEST YEAR EVER!!!

LIP,

Family....gotta love 'em, they certainly can screw things up..can't they?

Here's to a happy birthday no matter what you decide to do! I don't know what lotto you play...but here in NY it will be 430 million on Tuesday.....ah....a dollar and a dream! :)

I don't ever want you to cry!   You have a wonderfull weekend whatever you decide to do!!!!!

You know that if I win the lottery stuff is cr($*p ) but I will expect my share.  I am the guy in the back that has the sign that say, remember when I gave you the slurpee straw?

Can I just say you all f**king rock?!   Each and every one of you have no idea how much each comment means to me right now.  You guys have been the people that have supported me, that “got” me, that make me feel I’m not alone in this surreal life I’m going through.

 

I have no false sense of pride on this site, I can say things about family that I dare not say normally.  You know, you see these people on holidays and smile and chat thinking “you back stabbing soandso”, haha!! 

 

I guess I’m off to Mississippi Saturday to celebrate my bday.  I’ll be in a hotel myself but I will have dinner w/my gf and her husband & kids Monday.  Plus I’ll get an overdue massage at the hotel so all good.    Thank you guys so much….if I ever win this damn lotto, y’all are getting a piece of it.  Seriously!!! 

I know exactly how you feel. I constintly have to worry what my family nows and will tell. This was one reason for my loyality blog.

Hang in there and just go have some fun...Happy Birthday...!!!

I was fortunate, only the sis managed to live close enough to be jealous of what me ane the ex had, kind of ironic as me ex and the loser sil were twins at birth.  I think you should hold your head up, look at the basement dwellers and ask them if they have a problem with you outshining your stbx, he had his chance, didn't step up and you people want to make me out to be the bad person!  Keep your head held high knowing that you tried.  Some people just refuse to take one step out of the basement to better things.  Hang in there, keep your smile on (it makes them wonder if they have spinach stuck in their teeth).  Be well.

Happy Birthday!  Tell you what come on down to GA and you and my old lady can go out to a male review. Thanks again for all your help.

Happy Birthday!  Well I hope it's happy!  Yes family can $uck and misery does need company!  After the wonderful words you wrote on my blog, (btw thank you) I figured I would try and return the favor!  But I see that everyone else bet me to it! But here goes anyway!  My the fleas of ten thousand dogs infest the private parts of all the gossips out there who feed off the misery of others.  Go enjoy your Birthday, you deserve it!

I am so jealous that you can attract so many comments.    My dogs are worried about the economy because Alpo is up by .99  and that is $7.00 in dog money.    You are in quite a position and I understand well.    My Sister and Husband, also my Mom and other relatives.........I just donot want to talk to them at all.    It has been 3 months, no lie.    They are all so helpfull and knowing, that they are useless.    Relatives are like fudge with a few nuts.    I have a Cousin who emails me constantly with the bible.    So helpfull and yet so useless.    I have come to believe that our suffering must be conducted mostly by ourselves.    You are in a somewhat different situation and I know it must be very stressfull, weighing heavily on your small shoulders.     On Monday go somewhere, anywhere, Monday is only one day.     Your troubles will soon end and then you will pursue life with due dilligence right?     It's quite a contention to have dogs give unconditional love, and that's what they give me these days.    They just hate cats, they think cats belong to some weird religious cult.    Anyway we all have troubles and they are only  temporary in nature.     Tomorrow.....who knows?

I hope you can go to the spa with your friend and have an absolutely wonderful time.  Take care of yourself.  I'm sorry your family can't give you the support you need, or, at the least, keep quiet.I guess in some ways, I'm lucky.  My relation with my ex's family is a whole lot better than HIS relationship with his family.  He wrote a nasty letter to his father, soon after he left, so his dad when speak to him at all (the guy is in his 80's so ex will be lucky to see him alive).  His stepmother told me I should be dancing in the streets to be rid of him, as did his younger sister.  Only one of his three kids even talks to him at all (not my doing--they are adults and have been furious with their dad not because he left, but because of the way he did it, plus some other BS that he did long ago that put the kids through hell).  I'm fairly certain that I've had more contact with his family than he has.  My own family has been terrifically supportive and probably wouldn't throw ex a life jacket if he was drowning.  Maybe a brick, however.  Ex kept emailing my brother jokes and garbage after he left until my brother emailed back asking him why the heck, in his wildest imagination, did ex think that my brother would want any contact with him after what he did to his sister--both now and in the past (that's the history part that infuriates the kids so much).  It's funny, though.  I would never have left this man, in spite of what he did to me.  I would have even forgiven him the cheating, if he'd stayed, instead of galloping off with the OW.  Even though being alone the rest of my life seems terrifying to me, I suspect I'll be happier.  Someday, I'll probably write a letter of thanks to my ex.  Even alone, I have the love and respect of both my family and his.  What does he have?  His GF who is making him move out to 'date' her, because they moved too fast, according to her shrink. I guess I shouldn't gloat.

Hanging out with your friend sounds like a good plan.  You deserve a relaxing and fun birthday.  I get what you mean about family.  I love my family, but not all of them are supportive.  I refuse to discuss things with my mother, who turns everything into her issue("You're getting separated?  It must be my fault because your father and I split up..." Then I end up reassuring her!).  My two brothers have been great.  Full of bad jokes and encouragement.  I still have not told my sister, who just might offer to beat D senseless. 

Are you close to NJ if so come on and visit. If I did not want to go somewhere I would not go. If he ask just say I decided to stay home and have some me time. Then don't go any further you don't have to explain he is not your spouse. If you talk to them about not talking to your ex they will tell him that you said that. For laughs I would make up shit and tell them. LOL Like don't tell my ex but I hit the lottery ;)Take care of you and If I'm not on for your birthday... Happy Birthday to a smart and wonderful person.

Thank you for such kind words Betrayed!  And Flutters you know you're my girl, thank you.  And yeah, in-laws are the stbx's family, I found that out real quick. 

I think I got a plan.  My gf in MS is trying to get me a room at a hotel w/a spa (she has certificates for $20/ea) so I think I'll skip out of town Sat-Mon.  Hopefully they're not booked.

I appreciate you guys and this site so so much.  ((GROUP HUG!!))

I have plenty of room at my house if you're not opposed to Texas!  However, I don't plan on staying here after my daughter graduates in 2 years.

My mom, dad and sister have already passed away but I have 2 brothers.  One has so many problems himself he tries to be supportive, but he's a man and it's all about him.  I love him though.  The other brother, almost came to TX from CO with a shotgun when he found out about the OW.  Seriously.  It's probably a good thing they don't live closer.

I'm having troubles with my in-laws, of course.  The father-in-law wants to know what I did wrong in the bedroom for him to go elsewhere.  I would love to tell him it was HIM that was having problems in the bedroom if you know what I mean.  And my sister-in-law, who is/was one of my best friends will tell me one thing and tell the stbx another.  That really hurts.  Heck, my husband left me for another woman, I can take anything they have to say.

All I have to say is thank God for you guys.  It's been a very helpful outlet.  Let me know what time the party is and I'll be here with bells on.  : )

I'm sorry to see the most recent drama in you life.  I see others who are close to your hometown have offered to spend time with them, as lvmykids said "do something fun"  I know at times I don't even want to do fun things.  But it feels good to be in the company of people who can understand and empathize.  I hope and pray whatever happens your birthday is very special.  You deserve that, we all do.  I'm pulling for you sister. 
With much care.

Thanks guys, I'm glad I don't feel alone in feeling that way.  It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't live right out my back door!! 
I don't know if I should confront the cousin-in-law, I've told my uncle before but it does no good.  They don't get any info from me so I guess they'll take any opportunity to get some.  Why don't they just get a life?!  I don't give two craps what they do.  I got my own life to worry about.

lvmykids - I may be taking you up on that!  vlady - we'll tell you where and when!

You could go out somewhere and we could all do a conference call!

Happy birthday, whatever you do.

There is no chance in the world that my family will ever be loving and supportive. They're awful. They've been like this all my life. After he left I thought I could go to them for comfort. How stupid was that?

We can't chose our family. We can chose our friends. I've chosen to spend time with friends, but even then I only talk about the divorce on here. No one else understands or cares and they have a tendency to use it against me later.

Family can be your own worst enemy. After all that has been said and done my mother was over when the ex dropped off the kids.  He kissed her on the cheek and embraced her.

What did she tell me when she walked back in? "He looks great. He looks happy. What the hell did you do to him?".  I could not believe it.  Seriously.  She was the one that hated him the most.  She wished I would divorce him. Now....wow. I was floored. She can be evil. I am convinced.  She does things to sabatoge her relationship with all three of her daughters. 

I am learning to keep my distance. Per the therapist, we don't pick our families, we are born into them and that is about it.  Be cordial and don't expect her to change. I call once a week if that and cut her off the minute she starts with the negativity.  

Learn to do the same.  Shut them out of your life if it has a negative impact on you.  Don't let them ruin your birthday. 
Let me know what time the invite is :-)

Abrazos.  

Hate to say it but family while god given are not god sends. This is why when you asked me on my freak out post about family I didn;t say anything. Mine drive me absolutely insane and have more problems than my brain can handle in this life time. So I tell them nothing anymore and I live as though they are aquaintances and not really family. I've always said that " no one person can hurt you the way family does". Even after everything my ex did they have done that much more. So throw them in a big pile, visit on holidays (normally happy occassions), call 1x a month to say Hi and that's it. Don;t let them spoil your b-day and don't spoil it for yourself. Do something fun. If you need to get away for a weekend give me a hollar I'm close enough!!! We can go party like rockstars or not together!!