Realizing, finally what needs to be done .  

Well first of all I went to Fl last week to relax with my 92 yo g-ma. Man that is some rough living. I walked in the pool with my feeling better but still useless leg and pretty much read and shot the breeze with g-ma.

Well that was really relaxing and two days after my return, my mother visited for a few days. She left today. I felt really good about her visit. For her to actually be here and really see what goes on..... She gave me her honest view and pointed a few things out. We are always waiting on the wife. This was great. She had me over for supper and her apt is on a hill, bout 15 steps. I am on crutches. She knew I was coming over and parked her car out by the back door, which is on the same level. Anyway, was talking to my ma and she repeated what I have been saying. My wife doesn't care about anyone but herself and it is all, always about her. And I realized that for me to be the best dad I can I have got to get away from her drama. We visited a cousin yesterday,(out of town) and went to eat. I didnt realize she had no money (she claims) so I said I wouldnt eat, just let the kids eat. Heck I had 3 cupcakes and some junk food at the party anyway. So she says I am not gonna eat either. Which of course my oldest say, either am I.  10 minutes later she developes a mysterious stomache ailment and has  to go out to the car. So of course the kids all have to take their turn going out. Oh the drama! This is funny, my wedding ring fell off in the ocean in FL and she just noticed today! Don't worry it is the second time I lost it, I buy inexpensive ones. But you know what? I am not getting another one! The kids start school tomorrow and I am telling her I will come over for dinner once a week, have the kids over once a week and see them on weekends. There are a few people on here who have been telling me I have needed to do this and I appreciated your patience. I get it now. How can I be a good dad when my son won't listen to me at her house? This isn't your house, he says. I am dreading the loneliness of not seeing them every single day, but I have realized it is too much. She hung up on me on the cell earlier today and well honestly, it hurt my feelings. Yeah stupid I know. My mother says, Listen you have got to understand where she is coming from. Don't be hurt. She doesnt care about you. Be angry, whatever but let it go. The good news is that I can still attend his f-ball practices and maybe meet em after school for the next few weeks til I get back to work. Question. Is 2 nights and the weekends a regular amount? We haven't done the formal dissolution stuff yet, so I am curious.I am a little all over the place on this blog. Sorry.