It's been awhile... 

I haven't posted in months....Yes, I am alive...NO! He did not kill me.

First off, I am trying to change my pic and can NOT figure it out. This is one of my paintings I did on a "love" series while back. I really don't feel that way about love anymore. I feel hope and excitement for what can possibly come in the future!

I finally got the seperation papers. I did it!

Even more odd, the STBX and I are getting a long swimmingly. We even have times where we all hang out as a "family". We don't fight at all anymore. We are helping each other out through everything and seem to be very close friends now.

This would have confused me before but I am very clear on something now:

I was beat-down and not myself for the last 8 years. I had been cheated on so much and betrayed repeatedly. These acts caused me to feel like I was literally a piece of shit. I felt like I wasn't worth love and like if I was this or that....he wouldn't have cheated.

As I get emotionally healthy, I made a promise to myself. I will NEVER get cheated on again....by STBX anyways. NEVER! I don't hate him, I don't feel hurt or jealous by him anymore, I actually enjoy his company from time to time. The only way to accomplish that is to take control of my life and not ALLOW him to hurt me anymore! So, the divorce will be going through. He has a proven track record of being a cheat, a liar and an abuser....I won't accept those things from someone I call my "husband".

Now about me: I got a promotion at work! I have a nice little apartment that I can afford all on my own. My daugther and I just went to her first concert (Demi Lovato and David Archuleta) ...while it wasn't my type of music...I found myself totally enjoying watching how happy "L" was. We find ourselves at the pool a lot, renting movies together from Netflix, and now STBX has helped us get together a HUGE Wii package that her and I will probably be obsessing over for quite awhile.

It's so odd that married...all 3 of us were quite unhappy. Apart, we are all getting along so great (even "L" and her dad!). We are all happy and flourishing at work and school. Blessings are coming right and left at ALL of us!