sjg/ A Broden

Still get upset at times and dreams again.

As I posted my divorce is done just signing off papers I know it is done but I started having dreams again. Then I was talking to my son tonight about television and I said we need the big screen tv that dad and I had. He said "Mom it is at OW house now." I know ex is living there but for some reason I got angry that our tv was at the OW's house. Why should she enjoy what I also worked hard for.Just thinking about our house having to be sold, things divided, makes me so upset again. I feel like I have taken 12 steps back. I hate this I want to just be over all this emotion that wants to rear its head. I'm better off, my marriage was cheating and abuse, how sad am I that I would let little things continue to bother me.I just feel what was mine that I worked hard for too has been destroyed. In my situation when the times were good they were really good and when they were bad they were evil. So I dream about the good times of traveling on the motorcycle and then I see her in my dreams on the back of the bike. The b@@@h is on my motorcycle.Oh dear I best get myself in gear and start making new friends here.
Sorry just needed to vent. I know silly and in a few weeks I will look at this post and thank God that I have moved on. I'm glad I'm a caring loving person but sometimes I wish I was like him and was able to close the door to 38 years.

by sjg 1772 Posts

Posted on 8/13/2009 9:43 PM

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Comments for "Still get upset at times and dreams again. " (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Oh, I hear you! He did not take any of the 'things' that we had together, but she has him....planning vacations (ones I begged him to take in the last few years) amongst other stuff.

I have dreams where he is back, we are happy.....but it's not the man I'm divorcing. It's the man I married 19 years ago. I wake up and I'm sadder still. Then sometimes I have dreams where he is still pissing me off. I wake up from those feeling mixed.

I'm a year out from the separation, a year away from divorce. I'm trying to move on, but some days my bitterness just seem to get the best of me! Those are the days when I try to think of my friends here and all the support I've been given.

Look at this this way.....we still have our children. You were sitting with your son watching tv in your house! That's the blessing!

by angielou 1565 Posts
Posted on 8/14/2009 2:30 AM

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The only things that I miss are my dog and my flowers. Flowers can be replanted. But the bond between me and my dog, well, that hurts! After 25 years together, I really thought we could do a visitation of sorts regarding my lab, but oh well.
I have the respect and love of my boys and that matters so much to me.
It has been 8 months since my divorce was final and each day finds me stronger and happier with myself. Not all the way there yet, but just give me another year!!
One day at a time!
Take care!

by demoralized 61 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 11:26 PM

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Just knowing you made it through the tough times is an enlightenment. Look forward to it and be glad you made it.

I go in spells also but I still can't wait for it to all be over with and all the decissions will be mine. No past hanging in the doorway. I try to keep smiling, do the same and we can get through this. =0)

And Thank you

by Lovemeknot 240 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 9:59 PM

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i agree with kitty, i had to split all my stuff with my ex and he of course took all the good stuff and left me with the junk. but i look at it this way, i got to start over with new stuff. no memories. he took my bed and sleeps in it with his wife. yuck...better for him/her..

HUGS
it will get better

cherbear

by cherbear 5182 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 9:55 PM

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It's OK to vent. That's what we're here for.

I know it's hard dealing with the things you bought to create YOUR home sitting in her house, with them enjoying the fruits of your labor.

They are things. Nothing more. I counsel people on this every day. You have your health, your sense of self, your kids, your well being. Possessions do not matter. Things can be replaced. People cannot.

Don't let this drag you down. It is one hour in one day.

Divorce is rough, but you have survived it.

*hugs*

by Kitty7470 2621 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 9:51 PM

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