My God, I'm Sick of This... 

Here I am again....spending more of my time on trying to get out from under this farce of a marriage.  I've been getting some documentation together for an upcoming hearing, and it finally dawned on me that I am utterly sick of this - of the hassle, the pain, the process...and most of all I'm sick of 'him'.  I know it takes time, and this is what I need to do, but at my age time is something to be cherished - not wasted on a legal process that drags things out for months.

On an up-note (a very expensive up-note), I found an attorney who is smart, doesn't make me feel as if I'm taking up too much of her time, and who I trust.  But even with an attorney, there is so much work that I have to complete myself....and I'm just very, very tired of the whole thing. 

I keep telling myself that I need to keep plodding along until I reach the end of this chapter in my life.  My greatest hope is that whatever the outcome, I'll be able to look back and know that I did everything possible to get the satisfaction I'm looking for - and deserve.  I may not get a thing from him in the end....but I'll know I did my very best to get back a little something of what he took from me and my family.

Sigh....I just want this all to be over so I can really move on - and I can't move on until I'm legally divorced.  Perhaps I'm being naive, but I still believe that married is married - until the divorce is final.