"I Love You--Have A Good Day" 

Well it seems you ladies beleive in it. V I have to ask this knowing how you feel been there I have to ask you this. You seemed to have placed yourself in a very vanarable position with this guy you have met and I hope for you that when you say good night and he leaves that he still remmbers those words he said. I did also but I still watch the actions not jelaousy because that is a no win way. People are grown and they will do what they want to do no matter if they have other things going on. People can say those words becuase they know some one freash out of a relationship  somtimes needs to hear it. When those words left some one elses mouth I would put on breakes not that i am scared but because it to easy to say. Now when you look into some one eyes and how they look at you it tells you not the word.  I learned a few things during my single time one I don't need anybody around me to be happy I enjoyed being alone it gave me time to think about everything. I met my current wife and I enjoyed her being around me the more we had time together the more I saw she like the same things i did we were alike in the way we thought and our understanding of things. She had been single for 16 years before me so I am sure she heard those words before but like my self she also watched peoples actions. I say except the word if you really need to hear it but if you beleive it and carry on and get hurt it's your fault now anybody elses. I want each and every one of you to find some one that makes you feel by their action that you are the only, But not at the risk of any one of you ladies losing any more of your self that makes you doubt yourself again. So V as I have said to you becareful with your heart because like the rest of you ladies it's special and some pleople will  use it just to get what they want. before you rebuttal ladies think about the X and the trust you  gave away . Feel the Love  but wisly ;)

I heard those words, too, and said them at least as often. I do believe we both meant it at the time. Later it began to fade and maybe the 'I love you's' were us clinging to what we had, maybe just a habit I don't know. The last time I heard those words from my ex was a few months before the breakup, before the affair began in earnest but after they'd met. [sigh]

I never heard those words. I might have in the beginning. Mr. Bi-Polar was never a warm and loving person.  When I said it I meant it.

I find myself repeating those words and I mean them with all my heart. I feel the same thing when the words come out from the man I am with now. I can feel it. They are not the words that were said occassionally from the man I was married to but instead from a man with a heart and soul.

I know even in the worst of times when I said I love you I meant it.  I think my stbx meant it to but I don't think either one of use loved ourselves.  I am learning alot through counseling.  There is so much that I could have applied to my marriage if he would only have given me a chance.  Instead, he chose the easy way out.  He chose to stay with a woman 100 times more insecure than me, she says exactly what he wants to hear.  I don't think that's effective communicating.  He has a sex addiction.  She says that's ok and she loves him just the way he is.  She has no clue what she's in for.  When I found out how bad his addiction had become I wanted better for him.  I don't think that is a bad thing.  I would not, could not share him with the computer and the prostitutes downtown.  She has no idea what she's in for.  I love my stbx, I probably will love him forever.  But, as I learn to love myself I realize his spiral downward is something that I can't put myself and my daughters through.  It's painful to watch, but we will continue to pray for him.

hmmmmm Communication don't mean chit ya'll the person tells you I love you and the person is a lair period and then you find out they have some one else on the side. Look when that person changes and you notice it then I would say use your eyes and look for your self. We have a tendacy to except it from some one we trust and when we find out they have been lieing then what your azz is hurt. well that is your fault just like it was my fault that my X cheated becuase I took a lier at her word instead of opening my eyes. Like all of you we were blinded by faith that we were raised on from our parents. I guess the thing I was mad at was I stayed and continued to believe a lier knowing she has lied to me in the past. I was in love what a pathtic mess I was but hey I believed her. I got to the point to where love does not have anything to do with it it's a word we use for our inmaturies is all. I have a wife that tells me she loves me but I still keep my eyes open and watch. Not to mistrust her but for my self because I don't trust myself like I did before.

"Do we just say them without any real thoughts behind them?"   No, WE (the honest people) don't say them without any real thoughts, THEY (the disloyal, dishonest) say it without any real thought.

The older I get I realize there are two people in the world.  The honest and the dishonest.  And each one has a list that follows accordingly.  And each performs acts accordingly.

My stbx would call me stuff and scream, two minutes later say I love you.  I couldn't understand that.  I began to cease my "I love you's" back.  I told him I didn't understand.  How am I to say I love a man that mistreats me horribly,  I just couldn't lower myself to lie and say 'I love you'.  I asked him the definition of love and he said love.  I told him "love" to me is a blanket word.  

If his showing me love was "love", then I don't need it.  I need honesty, commitment, respect, loyalty.

Me and my ex would say "I love you" anytime we were going to be apart and I would like to believe we each really meant it.  When she stopped I knew something was going on.  Communication, that is the key, she was great at lecturing, yelling and ranting but not listening.  Maybe he just never really listened.  Sorry that had to happen to you, it's not right and it's not fair.