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all alone

Today I went to the drs to find out I have to start taking Boniva for Osteopenia. All my blood work came back with everything being good except for my blood sugar. I need to get it checked. Well, here I am just about 51 years young. I do not smoke, drink and have not taken drugs. I try to eat well and exercise...need to do more of this. I was on the way home and realized I have no one to share this with. I live by myself now. I hate it. I have my dogs and they are great, but no one to share my everyday life with, no one to miss me when I am not home, or worry if I am late. I hate this. I am doing what I can to move forward, but what, when and how will I have a new life? I wanted to overcome the struggles and make them have meaning. Now here I am. I know this sounds depressing and maybe I am. I go to work each day, keep myself busy, go to the beach, visit with some friends, but what about being home? I am not ready to date and I do not see this ending soon. Even if and when I date it will take so much time to have a life with someone.This stinks. I have been to counseling, read the self help books, but nothing takes the place of having someone to share my life with and that is a long way from now if I am fortunate for it to happen. I wish I was one of those people who could just jump into the next phase, date someone, sleep with someone etc. I just cannot see it. So here I am alone. I have my faith, and yet I wonder what lesson and I supposed to learn from this part of my life. What could possibly come out of this? Well, just my thoughts.

by valley01 94 Posts

Posted on 7/29/2009 8:38 PM

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Comments for "all alone" (9) (You must be logged in to answer)

I totally feel your pain. One of the hardest things I've had to face is the fact that I don't have a " +1 " anymore. The kids and friends are great substitute but at the end of the day, his side of the bed is still empty.
I am resolved though not to let the pressure of being lonely get to me...I do my best to stay occupied and the only time that it dawns on me that I am alone is when it's time to go to sleep, by then, I'm too tired and melatonin never gives me enough time to ponder on it...so it's onward for the next day.
When it really gets you down, just come on back to this website,and we'll give you company.
Too bad they don't have a live chat feature where you can choose to interact with others if you need to.
God Bless.

by lostintranslation 73 Posts
Posted on 8/3/2009 2:49 PM

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I'm a member, too, eighteen years together before the divorce, but there is hope, I think. Just this weekend a friend stayed over, we BBQ'ed and hung out and rode old bikes to a local car show, nothing special really, but the place felt like a home for the first time since I moved in, and I felt like there was maybe someone who cares about me, at least a little bit. And my friend wasn't nearly as uptight about the little things as my ex, either, which came as a pleasant and unexpected surprise.

I never thought I'd feel that again, ever, the just knowing someone is out there somewhere. So, it'll come, I know it will.

by Natalie 729 Posts
Posted on 8/3/2009 11:20 AM

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I am in the same situation. 52 years old, married for 31 years, with my husband since I was fifteen. I feel the same as you, lonely and alone. Not having someone to share things with is the hardest. I can't imagine ever having another relationship as I still feel very married. It is almost a year now since he left and I can't imagine the rest of my life without him. Very depressed, on medication and going to counselling, but nothing replaces having a spouse to share your life with. Hopefully, some day things will be better. Hang in there, that is what I am trying to do each day.Only One

by onlyone 3 Posts
Posted on 8/3/2009 10:04 AM

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Hi Valley,

Well, I am a member of that club....all alone for the first time in my life....except for the 3 dogs and 2 little kitties that greet me every day when I come home from work and I also was diagnosed with osteopenia recently! Oh joy, just what I needed to hear...

I had those same thoughts as you recently....when I had an emergency and it really hit home that I no longer had my husband to call and give me a hand! Was a bit depressing to think about....

That started me projecting into the future....yes, I have friends and family and my career...but I am all alone now.....nobody's at home waiting for me to arrive. Well, except for my pets.....

Ok...I guess my point here is.....I really get what you are going through....as I am living it myself! I try not to project too far into the future, just kind of take things one day at a time for now. So far, so good...although I have my depressed moments at times, too!

Hang in there!

by zuki 685 Posts
Posted on 8/2/2009 8:56 PM

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Thank you all. I appreciate hearing what others have to say. I do have a few friends that I speak with and get together with. I have family but most live far away. I have my son and my daughter, but my daughter and I are not as close as I would like. My son and I are very close but see each other maybe twice a month, but he does contact me almost everyday. I know I have to find "my" way and I am trying. I have a good job and enjoy most days with the people I work with. Yes I am blessed. My life since childhood has been one where I have experienced the loss of close family members, so I guess my ex leaving me was my worst nightmare. Anyway I really am doing ok, just am tired of taking care of everything by myself and miss the interaction of having someone here. I will keep moving forward and I am sure good things will come my way. Again thanks everyone. May good things come to us all.

by valley01 94 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2009 5:19 AM

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You perhaps are asking for too much too soon. Plus you are in a deeply depressed state. During these times we must be content with what we have. Enjoy your singleness as much as you can. You have opportunities that you are overlooking. Millions of people are in hopeless, loveless marriages with no way to exit. That is not the case with you. You can be creative by discovering things which you always wanted to pursue. Gain independance which is a wonderfull quality. Your confidence in yourself will become apparent as you succeed in different prospects. Eventually you will find a true mate. You are very normal as we all have felt (feel) as you. Don't give up at this time or any other, as there have been many good relationships started from the status that you are now in. Concentrate on you. Many would envy your position. Become a stronger, more focused person with goals to strive for. Life is worth living. Be well...........Kev

by kevinwo 733 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2009 2:24 AM

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Hi All Alone,

Quote: "what could possibly come out of this" unquote. The possiblities are endless! For example: a healthier, happier, stronger you and that's just for starters. The sky is the limit for you! How far do you want to soar? It's all a matter of mind. If you believe that.

Whether you drink or smoke has nothing to do with your feeling of aloneness. These things don't attrack people. It's our willingness to embrace something that is new and unfamiliar. You can share your life with many people. I travel by public transportation and I don't hesitate to share my story with both men and women. I find their perspective provocative and applicable.

So, share! No man is an island unto himself. Of course, we all want someone waiting to accept us regardless of who, what, when and where. But that's not always the case. Even if you had someone to share your day with. What are the possiblilites that you'd probably would have been holding a conversation competition with sports or some other pass time of his.

Thinking o someone touching what you considered sacred and vowed unto your husband seems proposterous. I had those same feelings but as you move into developing a life without him, you will gain confidence and every other thing you need to "keep it movin".

Don't think about any of the repetitive flashbacks. Pray and embrace your singlness or for lack of a better term your aloneness!

Be blessed!

by psycho 61 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2009 12:43 AM

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((((hugs))))))
I know how you feel. I am 52 soon to be 53 and I just realized how alone I am. I enjoy coming and going when I please but I would enjoy having someone to share everyday things with.
email me if you would like.

by sjg 1772 Posts
Posted on 7/29/2009 10:39 PM

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It's OK to feel like you do. Do you have family or friends that could check in with you to make sure everything is alright? Having a support team in place would help you not feel so alone.

In the meantime, you've got a support group here of about 19,000 plus people. I hope we can help.

Hugs

by Kitty7470 2621 Posts
Posted on 7/29/2009 9:11 PM

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