A Few of My Favorite Things 

Me.  Let’s faceit:  That’s my favoritesubject.  I mean, after two yearsof blogging, other topics have risen and fallen from my fumbling fingertips,but I’ve always found me on the tip of my tongue—so to speak.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, I have scribbledmyself shielded from the most adept swordplay.  Oh, not by word quality.  Please, words more than one syllable I have to look it up. Ihave fortified myself in tome-tombs of infinite Rob words.

En garde!

I am my greatest fan. I buy me drinks and dinner. I listento my phone calls. I stalk me wherever I go. I look in the mirror just to seeme. Yup.  It’s creepy: the extentI’ll go to get my attention.

Why? Well I could go into some long insecurity story aboutevil parents and a sordid childhood involving wire coat hangers, a car battery,and a ferret, but the truth is, that’s not my story.  I had a good childhood.  Oh, I do have my scars, but let’s face it, who doesn’t havescars from their youth? I’m just like everybody else. I just love me more.

I grew up in two divorced households, with two lovingparents who had polar different theories in child rearing. This made me alittle bi-polar, but only in a white fuzzy butt bear kinda way. I now sit on myown iceberg of idiosyncrasies.  I’mgrumbly and cute. Look ma, no opposable thumbs, and padded paws.  I’m Robby Ruxpin.

That’s one of the things we all check for going into arelationship: What are the other person’s idiosyncrasies, and can we deal withthem? Can they deal with ours, without slamming the door and stomping off?  That’s how I lost the opposable thumbsto the opposing party. That’s one of the reasons I like the guy in the mirror:no matter what I do, he’s always there. He’ll love me for my nubby self.

Divorce made me question other’s ability to do the same.That, coupled with my own stuffed bear of issues, makes me a little leery aboutpeople and staying.  Some peopledeal with that differently. Some get clingy, smothering in reasons why youshouldn’t leave, others kick and scream to the ledge waiting for the other shoeto drop.

Me, I figure it’s best to be the me I love, and if somebodyelse understands that, then great. I have my good, and I have my bad, and Iknow that somebody will appreciate that the way they appreciate their morningcoffee.

“Well this cup is a little bitter, and the aroma is…well, interesting.”

This week, the Pirate Queen’s stuff arrived from far awayshores. I’d helped her move this far, I figured I’d see it through to her stuffgetting shored up too. So, while she went to work, I waited. 

I arrived Monday night, so that when her “relo-cube” o’ joyarrived Tuesday morning, somebody would be waiting to receive it. 

Remember I mentioned my idiosyncrasies?  One of them is waiting. I suck atit.  Despite my deep love of Rob, Idon’t even wait well for him. So when it comes to waiting for somebody else, Imight as well be Steve Erkle, cuz it’s not gonna go well.

The Pirate Queen and I are very similar, very business, verygo, go. We function best when things are moving. Monday I arrived in the lateafternoon to the Pirate Queen’s place. I figured I could use her gymfacilities, shower and then she’d be home.

The Pirate Queen’s new job takes up her Rob time. By thetime she got home, I’d worked out, showered, and nearly finished a book.  I’m a slow reader.  I’d love to have done something else,but you see her stuff was still somewhere on the road in her relo-cube o’ joy. Herapartment consists of one cat, one box of granola bars, two plastic cups, and aColeman inflatable mattress. I’m a MacGyver of many wonders but I couldn’t maketwo cups and a cat do anything entertaining. If only I’d had a bottle of Nair…

So I waited. When she finally got home we ate andslept.  The next morning we got upearly. She went to work. I waited. The cube was supposed to arrive as early as 11:30. I had some time tofinish my book. I ate a granola bar, and drank some water.  This was fun at first, but I was filledup before 9:00.  I concentrated onmy favorite subject for a bit, but I was getting bored with me.  These were desperate times!

At 11:30, I found out the cube wouldn’t be here until 12:30.At 12:30 I found out the cube wouldn’t be here till 1:30. At 1:30 I justaccepted that it would get here when it got here.  That happened at 3:30. 

The movers were supposed to arrive at 4:30.  Let’s just say that the Pirate Queenfinished pillaging around 5:00 and had come home and we’d eaten before they gothere.

That was a long day of staring at walls. For most peopleit’s maddening. For me, it’s one of my childhood issues. It’s like locking YogiBear in a room, and leaving 1,000 picnic baskets behind a glass wall he can’tget past.  Yeah, the gibbering bearat the end of the day was played by Rob.

What’s more, I didn’t even do it for my favorite person. Idid it for somebody else. What’s wrong with me?  I was grumbly all Tuesday night. I wasn’t mad at the PQ, Iwas mad at the waste of my time.  The things I could have done other thanstrapping cups to the side of her cat’s head and teaching it to say, “Help meRobbi-Wan, you’re my only hope.”

So this morning I got up, ready to return to my home, mylife, my things, my obsession. Before leaving the Queen’s new home, I checkedmy email. I found one that said:

I don't tell you enough how truly amazing I think you are.  Youhave been more than a great help and that means more to me than you can everknow.   I'm happy I moved here and I'm so happy I'm with you. 

Unlike the other emails like this in my box this one wasn’tfrom me. This one was from the Queen. In fewer words than I’ve used to fortifyone blog, she’d broken in to remind me why I spent a day doing my leastfavorite thing. 

It wasn’t because of all the wonderful Rob praise. ThePirate Queen doesn’t say these things frequently. I have to horde them when Iget them. It’s something that comes difficult for her. Still she’d done it forme, because she knew my favorite person and wanted to show her approval. Itwasn’t easy.

It was sweet, but she did make a mistake. Rob’s not myfavorite person anymore. She is.

That’s what I’ve been waiting for.