WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 

I know you are angry and want the divorce over quickly and I understand this but....You are the one who has a lot to loose. You will get half of all assets. You may think right now you don't want them but once you settle your heart I am afraid you will be sorry. Since he is the one that cheated see if your attorney will file that he has to pay for the complete divorce. I have friends that went into divorce that gave in and are now sorry.
I suggest you get counsel of some sort and go for all that is due you. You have a children that you need to look after. Also someday you will want to retire.
Please think long and hard about this.

The trust factor can never be the same.  I  know it's very difficult, but starting off with a new slate is the best option.  Don't give in to his demands.  My ex-wife put me in a rough spot with her affair, and when she left she almost put me in a financial burden.  For almost 2 yrs. I had not saved a penny for my daughter.  Basically, I was going negative each month.  I kept a spreadsheet on my monthly expenses.  I spent everything I had on the mortgage, utilities, and gas for traveling from MD to VA.  I didn't want to sell the primary residence, but didn't have an option.  Either way, my daughter didn't want to live in the house (colonial style w/ 3 levels).  I nearly spent around $64k  paying the mortgage for the past 2 yrs.  As you know most attorney's charge by the hour.  Whatever your previous attorney was charging, see if you can hire a least expensive one.  I nearly spent $80k for my divorce, and he charges $400 per hour.  Part of the $80k attorney expense was because my ex-wife had 3 different attorneys, and she prolonged everything.  She's a compulsive liar, and selfish as well.  Not all expensive attorneys are good.  Mine was more of a negotiator, but he did a fair job.  Tell him/her what you want and be very demanding or they won't listen.  I wish you the best.

My ex and I have a written agreement which we put into play when he first left me last year. The children live with me and I offer visitation 2x a month. I am barely getting by with my salary and the money he pays me in "non-ordered but mutually agreed" support every month. There is no room for extra expenses so to take on another monthly payment to pay my attorney would have me in a hole for longer then i ever wanted to be. It would be like a car loan. My ex knows that I would gladly give up everything (house, a car, furniture, whatever) just to get this divorce overwith. I don't need any of it. I can provide my kids with much more if I was able to downgrade my living expenses. He won't take the house. He can't afford it on his own unless i forfeit child support or he decides to get a "room mate" which he won't do because he's still too embarrassed to take the girlfriend out of the closet. All i want is to get him to agree to what he and i already agreed to when he left. His uncooperativeness does not come from not having the kids enough, or money. It comes from my unwillingness to take him back.He's a big fat spoiled brat.

I don't know what the cost of living down in FL is, but can you afford living on your current income and expenses?  I'm assuming you both bought the primary residence together and will have to divide that after the divorce unless you want to buy him out.  According to what you've said, it's likely he has more to lose since he has the following: a pension, IRA,  SS benefits, alimony, mitigated child support (lower than guides).  How many children do you have, and will he also be help pay for college tuition?  I think it all depends on what you have asked for in settlement.  But overall, I think it's best to go after him without hesitation.

As for letting your attorney go, I don't think it was a wise idea.  Your husband is pressuring you because he knows he will lose quit a bit, and doesn't want to lose too much before it's too late.  The best option would have let your attorney know that you're having financial difficulty and, see if a payment option can be met.  Has child custody been established yet, since the divorce proceeding takes longer.

I tried working out a figure with the attorney but even that was more than i could handle. He has bullied me out of counsel but he has too much at risk to bully me into anything at mediation. He has a pension, IRA, future SS benefits, alimony, mitigated child support (lower than guides) which we agreed to in writing that I would not go after if he agreed to everything I asked for. If he does not then the gloves come off. I'll go for all of it. I'm just trying to get this divorce over with, without anymore resistance from him to cooperate. He passed the original deadline to file his answer but like i said my attorney told me all of the  "what ifs" the court could grant in his favor if i went for default judgement. We have mediation scheduled for 8/4 and he is "supposedly" filing his answer and the notice of SS# this week when he pays for the mediation. He's supposed to give me copies of them once filed. If he did i would like to proceed as we had originally agreed. If he did not then i guess i can file for the default myself there at the courthouse after mediation?

Hi - sorry sorry sorry it took me so long to get to you on this...

I have a really dumb question - well, not really, but Ilm curious to know - WHY on earth would you let your stbx bully you into dropping your counsel instead of talking to your counsel about how to reduce costs, possibly by doing some of the legwork yourself, instead?

Your attorney will work with you, your stbx is going to be working AGAINST you, every chance he gets.

If he can bully you into dropping counsel, my fear is what he is going to bully you into during mediation....

I seriously think you need to RETHINK your strategy here...

does he still have time to file an answer? Or has the time passed?

Thanks Spin.Thanks everyone!!! The confidence boost and my eagerness to get this hot mess over with will hopefully bring me a happy ending. I can't wait to post the "I'M finally divorced" blog.

Good luck to you. You can handle it on your own hell you've been do it already. Just keep getting good free advice (well some of it may cost as far as the documentations) people do it all the time. These headaches can be expensive, but can be cheap if you can work around the system. Were on your side on this one. Seal the deal.  You can do it!

I will thanks Vlady.

How about you ask Spaz? She can maybe guide. She has a big heart and very, very smart lady.

Oh and just to add my parting attorney has offered to draft for me the parenting plan, a draft settlement agreement etc. so that helps somewhat too.

I am going to check. Since I know have more friends going thru this process (unfortunately I was the starter wife filing for the first D amongst them) I may have more luck than before. I really hope this goes well. I am smarter than my ex so I at least have a one up on him. My job is likely going to make a 3rd round of cuts soon and I have to save every extra penny I can. I wish it wasn't the case but i am the most well off in my list of family members so there is no one to offer a hand out. I have faith and will pray for it to be ok.

oh sweetie, is that really such a good idea?  A friend of mine in NY used a paralegal, is that something you could look into?