why the double standard? 

i have been giving this some thought for some time and i would like some input from everyone here.

a long time ago, i heared asaying that has stuck with me ever since.

it goes like this.

when a cat strays, it's because it is'nt getting enough love and attention at home.

when a dog strays, it's because it is'nt getting enough love  and attention at home.

when a child strays, it's because their not getting enough love and attention at home.

when a wife strays, it's because she is'nt getting enough love  and attention at home.

when a man strays, it's because he is a no good scum sucking pig!

why the double standard?

now i know that  the reasons for adultery and affairs are varied and there are emotional affairs, physical affairs etc. but i don't understand the double standard. it seems that (in my opinion ) men are the brunt of more that they should be.

now don't get me wrong , i'm just as guilty of as any one else who has been in this position. in the seventeen years that we were married, i cheated on my wife six seperate times. i have no excuse other than i was young,stupid and most of all lonely. i only did it because i wasn't getting what i wanted and needed from her wrong dffinatly, but when you feel like you are at the bottom of the list and she seems that she wo'nt listen when you thy to talk to her about it what else are you to do besides go crazy. i did'nt want to do it.ever time i did it was my wife that i wish i was with instead. there wasw no emotional connection of any kind. every woman i was with knew and understood that it was just sex. i know that even that doeas not excuse or justify anything or does it? she had all of these relationships with other people. she spent all of her time with other people. all i ever asked for was that i be given equal time. no parents, no friends, no kids, no work or bills or aany of the other everyday things that everyone else has. all i wanted wa some quality time with the woman that i wanted to share my life with.was that to much to ask for. i seriously regret each and ever time i went to someone other than my wife for what i wanted and needed from her because doing so was'nt right by anyones standards. but what else could i do? just go through each and every day wondering if and when i could spend just a little time with this woman that i loved and who waas supossed to love me.

now that she is gone  and i am " free to spend my time with whom ever i wish" i don't. i miss her to much. i don't look at, talk to or attempt in any way  shape or form any kind of relationship with any female other than casual none  formal type of ways. in fact i go out of my way to avoid women at al costs. so much so that i can't look at people interacting in any way thatwould be concidered a public display of affection. seeing couples walking together, talking to one another, holding hands, embracing, kissing or any of the otherr things that couples do causes me to much emotional pain to see. so i isolate myself from it. i run from it. i hide from it. i avoid it att the cost of my sanity.

 i was never muuch of a people person before i met her. during our marriage i was able to interact at a minimal level, and now i am even less of a social person that i was before we met.  so much so that i no drive or even desire for sex because i feel that i would be commiting adultery again.

i just realised that i amstarting to ramble so i will bring this to a close.

cheating is never acceptable. not for wifes, not for husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, not for any one.

but why the double standard?