It's offcially done... 

Well, it's final.  The paperwork was accepted this time.  The judge even wished us well.  But the most important words were, "I'm granting your divorce."  Of course, she still has to sign it and send out the paperwork in the mail, but it's official.  I'm now a divorce statistic...yayyy me.

My emotions are a little mixed.  I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be, though I did have a little bit of a twinge...after all, you don't spend a 10 year relationship with someone and not have it hurt when there's an official ending to it.  No, I was a little more sad two days ago when we were driving in the car.  We had just gotten done watching a movie we had both wanted to see and was going for a bite to eat.  She saw and commented on a "cute little fluffy bunny" she saw in a yard.  I couldn't resist.  It was almost reflexive, really.  I commented, "Would it's name happen to be Midnight Snack?"  She said, in her cute way, "Noooooo!!!!"  For just a brief moment in time, I had a glimpse of what we had and the happiness we shared.  But it was an illusion...I know it was.  That relationship is dead and gone now.  The moment passed.  All that remains are memories...and since we are stuck in the house until it either sells or I get a job out of state and move, there will be, I'm sure, more "phantom pains" before I go.

I do need to move forward, so I am relieved that this is done.  It's one less obstacle in my way when I get out of the house.  I'm happy to be free and move on...but also a little scared of the unknown and what the future may hold.  I really am not looking forward to jumping back into the dating pool...is there any chlorine in there?

I'm okay...but I know that this is going to hit me hardest when I pack up my things and move...only problem is, I don't know when that will be.  But, for now, we will co-exist.  I will do what needs to be done with the house and get it on the market.  Then I will work on getting my ass back into shape.  I will be going back to working 8 hr. shifts again at the end of August...that will help.  Then...well, then that's where my plan ends...and life begins...