RobBlog RoadLog Road date July 10 

Gasp! Sputter! Gasp!

I’ve spent the last three days without wi-fi!  Gaahhh!!!!  It’s like holding my breath underwater!  I’m a mute singer, lame dancer yearningto yammer prance my experiences.

It’s been three days of visiting family and harddriving.  A lot of nothing has goneon and I need to convey every syllable of it. And here you are, ready toread.  Aren’t you lucky? I’ll catchyou up as fast as I can.

I wish I could have gotten this written and out sooner, but sometimesthings don’t go the way you plan. On a road trip, that’s almost all the time.  That’s why a trip like this can be the true test of acouple. You set two tired and cranky individuals in a car and then make themwork together, and it’s nothing but fierce yowls and flying fur, and I don’tmean that in a good way.

So let me take a breath, and I’ll get you back on the roadwith Rob and the Queen.  After theSt. Louis cat caper, our next stop was Oklahoma City.  Yeah, don’t let the old song fool ya, it really didn’t look“oh-so pretty.”  It did have aclean motel with a pool though and that made it our I-40 oasis. 

We pulled in around 6:30, local time.  That’s one hour behind Pirate time and2 hours ahead of Rob time. Although we came from different time zones, we couldagree on one thing: we were tired of sitting in a car with a mewing cat.  She hadn’t stopped showing herdispleasure since her little game of hide and seek.

We checked in, and the PQ had a great idea.  We should order pizza, and then waitfor it in the swimming pool.

“Brilliant!”

“Thank you.”

It was her plan, so it was my job to implement it.  The motel was supposed to have wi-fi.Our room didn’t.  We were next tothe pool, so maybe it had something to do with water emanations, or chlorinecontamination, or maybe our travel stars weren’t aligned.  Either way, I couldn’t order online.

Not a problem, I could order the old fashioned way: byphone. That’s what I thought anyway.

Ring-ring!

Ring-ring!

We’re watching the local news.  I’ve seen the complete Oklahoma City sports and weather.

“We don’t have sports and it’s gonna be hot.”

Ring-ring!

Ring-ring!

I hang up.  Nobig deal.  I have an iPhone. I’m aweb savvy horse limping to the Internet glue factory.  There’s an app for that.

Neigh!

Well I thought I could. It appears our closest pizza placehas created a special web site that recognizes cell phones. If you log in usingyour phone, it pulls up the site quickly, but it’s limited on functionality.  What that meant to my queen and I, wasthat I could have a pizza delivered to my home, but not a hotel in OklahomaCity. I’m sure Persephone wouldn’t mind, if she could just fit her paws aroundthe doorknob.

“Mew, mew. Catnip and anchovy pizza, my favorite!”

I’m not thwarted. I know I can order pizza. All I need to do is find the motel wi-fi.  It’s a game. It’s hidden like a motel Easter egg. We can hopin the car, and drive around with my laptop until we pick up a signal.

“You know, Rob, while we’re in the car, we could just driveto the pizza place and pick one up, right?”

“No we can’t. I’m on a mission!”

She’s heard the tone before.  She knows better than to fight the wave, it’s better to justride it out.  That’s right, call meAhab. I’m hunting the white whale pizza with extra pepperoni!

We climb into the car. All we have to do is back the car up and I have signal!  WOO HOO! I click the browser button andmy screen reads, “PLEASE ENTER YOUR ULTRA-SECRET SUPER LONG HOTEL WI-FI CODEAND REMEMBER, DRINK OVALTINE.”

“I don’t have the code.  Do you have the code?”

“They didn’t give me one when I checked in.”

“Curse you, wi-fi fates!”

The queen sit’s quietly for a second then says, “Let’s goback in the room and try something.”

“Fine.” I’m disgruntled. I wanted food dropped at my feet,but now it looks like I’ll need pick it up first before I drop it.  Willing to try anything, I follow myqueen into the room.

She picks up her cell phone and dials the same number I’dtried dialing earlier.

“Hi, I’d like to order a pizza.”

I don’t know how she got through, but she did.  Sometimes that’s just the dynamic.  One person is all luck and grace, theother is Clark Griswald.  Yeah, weknow my role today. Do I get grumpy because she didn’t have to go through allhe effort?  Of course I do, but Ikeep it to myself. The reality is, we’re a team, and maybe I didn’t get to bethe big hero this time. Maybe I went to all the effort and came back with rentclothing and bitter dissapointment.

Still, I do get a pizza delivered in 30 minutes, and I get towait for it in the pool. I’m ok with swallowing my inner grump for that.