Sunday, a happy note.... 

Sunday was a day and night spent without my kids and with the guy I am seeing...It was a much needed break in the middle of all this chaos...I had to take him to the airport this morning at 5:30 so it made sense for me to stay there...He just got back from a white water rafting trip he had planned right as we started seeing each other in March and before he knew he was going to have to fly out for work this week...He left the river and drove the 10 hours home so he got home 2am on Sunday morning...I needed the break because my dad was put in the hospital this weekend, but I can't take off work to go see him because we are ramping up for AT...My stbx has been a jackass and this whole thing is wearing on me...I needed Sunday...

He had asked me if I wanted to come over for breakfast Sunday morning...He said I could just come on in and wake him up if he was still asleep...Well, I went in and he was still asleep but he woke when I went into his room...I crawled into bed with him, he wrapped his arms around me and we slept for a few more hours...That was amazing...For those of you going through this process, you know how disconnected you can feel from everyone, to have that, is simply amazing when you don't feel like you will ever have it again...I remember at one point in my process, I was hugged by a friend and realized it was the first time in months I had physical contact with anyone other than my kids...

We got up and had breakfast...I mentioned that his mom needed some short sleeve blouses...She has plenty of other things but I noticed she needed those since I had taken her to mass and out to chinese on saturday...She has dementia and he moved her in with him a year ago so he can care for her...It is one of the things I like about him...It is one of the things that shows me his character and goodness...He calls every night he is out of town to check on his mom and to talk to her...He has someone stay with her when he is not there...again, the caring is evident...

He asked me if I would mind going shopping with him...I said of course not...We went to the mall...He bought her 6 blouses and a new blazer because he said she needed a new blazer...It was fun shopping for his mom...as he checked out, I walked a few feet away, we tend to do that when we are with each other shopping...he called me back and asked me if he needed gift receipts? I said no...Just keep your receipt and if something doesn't fit, we can then bring it back...The saleswoman asked if he wanted the receipt in the bag or with him...He said with him but she tried to hand it to me...I started laughing...and pointed to him...She said, Oh, usually the wife wants it in her purse...I laughed and said, M***, you need a man bag...She said well the wife or girlfriend...I just smiled and said, I think he should probably have it...Both of us have avoided putting a label on what we are...but it did get me to thinking about how others may view us...We were walking though the mall, holding hands, carrying bags, and eating chocolate chip cookies he had to have...I know he likes me, lol, he shared....

He said we had something to discuss, I said ok...He said that his one friend that helped him finish his basement is building a pole barn, he had told me that before...He said that they were going to be doing that this weekend...He said he would probably be there from sunup to sundown on Friday but that he would try to get done by noon or early afternoon on Saturday...He asked if I was ok with that...I said, of course, I understand helping friends...He said, well with it being a holiday weekend and all...I said its ok...(I was a little disappointed, but I do understand) I was just pleased that he discussed it with me and that he asked if I was ok with it...He didn't have to...I am not used to someone actually asking me if I have a problem with it or not...It is a quite refreshing, actually. We discussed money, his ex wife and his last girlfriend were interested in what he could provide for them...I know he is sensitive to this...I factored up my income, which I hadn't done before as a yearly salary and I told him a ballpark...I told him, see, I don't want your money, I make decent money myself, now I hope you aren't seeing me just for my money...I started laughing and so did he...He said I won't have to worry about that until I get my pay raise in January...we both laughed...If nothing else, I want him to know that it is not what he has or what I think he could provide for me financially...What I like about him and the reason I see him is for the companionship and the connection to someone...I have told him this but I believe that we all have our baggage and it takes time to deal with it...He seems to have the patience to deal with mine, so I believe that I am going to have the patience to deal with his...

We proceeded to buy other things...He needed new phones for at home, something his mom could use easier...He needed shoes and shorts...He has no clue on what a good bargain is, I steered him there and he said he was impressed...He got two pair of shorts for less than he was willing to pay in American Eagle...I told him I shop for teens, I am a good bargain shopper...We had fun and then went back to his place and he had his mom try on her new duds...They all fit but one shirt will have to go back, too see through...I told him I would take it back this week and just have it credited back to his card...He left me a blank check to fill in when they deliver his lawn tractor after they fix it...I think he is more trusting than I am when it comes to that kind of thing...I mean, he really has only been seeing me since March...He just met me in February...

I fixed dinner while he balanced his checkbook and packed...We ate dinner with his mom and then we played video games for awhile...That was fun...Then it was time for bed...We touched all night...Something I don't think I have ever had...Even if it was a foot over an ankle, a hand on an arm...He woke me this morning with a travel mug of coffee fixed the way I like it...What a way to wake up...I drove him to the airport and he texted me that he was one the plane, he texted me that he was at Detroit airport and going to have breakfast...he texted me that he had landed in North Carolina...I don't require him to do those things but I let him know that I think it is nice and considerate...I worry about people flying. I like to know when they are safely on the ground...

However this ends up working out...It has shown me that I don't need to settle for less than what I deserve...I deserve someone that will treat me with consideration and caring...I deserve to be communicated with...I deserve to be heard...I realize this relationship is fairly new and that I am new to dating...This bothers M***, he says I should see what is out there even though I don't think he really cares for the thought when he thinks about it...I told him to at least give me credit to know what I like and don't like...Ok, long enough blog....but I want to share the good and the bad...When my process first started, I needed to see both, I needed to see others pain and frustration so I knew I wasn't alone and I needed to see happiness so that I could have hope...Tomorrow officially ends my journey...I should be divorced when I walk out of the courtroom...I have a ton of blogs on here...And if you have read my stuff from the beginning through now, you will see every emotion I think that you can have...It has been one wild ass ride, one that I am thankful to be getting off of...Nope, I do not need a season pass...I do not plan on riding this particular ride ever again...