I don't feel like the other woman. 

We met 22 years ago.  We fell in love.  We were very compatible, and could just be when we were together.  No matter what we were doing or where we were at, we enjoyed our time together.  We were together for over 2 years.  He "decided" for both of us to end things.  That it was in my best interest.  That he didn't have enough to offer me.  I was devasted.  I begged him to reconsider.  For a couple of years after our relationship ended, I slept with a lot of people.  Generally engaged in some pretty self-destructive behavior.  By the time I met my husband, i was tired, and just wanted to settle down.  We were married within 6 months of our first date.  We never had a chance to develop much of a relationship.  We had a child very early on in our marriage.  She has disabilities.  I devoted myself to my career for some time before deciding I needed to spend more time with our child. 

 

In the meantime, both my husband and I had significant health issues come up.  Then I returned to school and finally got my degree.  Started a new career in a completely different field.  My hubby began to isolate himself at this time.  He rarely slept in our bed, falling asleep in the living room much of the time.  We had little to no sex life.  It was like he no longer wanted to be a part of our life as a family.  I tried, I begged, I pleaded for him to take better care of himself.  I finally made the decision late last Summer that I needed to take care of myself both mentally and physically and just live life.  I had become the caretaker for two instead of just our child.  I had lost my identity along the way of our marriage.  I needed to be around to take care of our daughter who needs someone with her for care for a very long time.  Then, it happened.  The man from my past, my first love, contacted me.  We began to spend time together, and eventually we slept together.  He is married as well.  He has two children and is exceedingly unhappy in his marriage.  We were found out.  He moved in with me, but missed his kids so much, I sent him back home to his family.  I love him.  My marriage is over, but it has been for a long time.  I am somewhat relieved by that.