I am forever changed 

Thanks all for your comments.  I do feel a little empowered.  I'm not saying I am glad for the change but it was what needed to happen, I guess its what helps me move on.  I'm impatient by nature and I am impatient by the time its taken for me to leave all the past behind.  I wish I could erase it but I cant.  A friend said that I am a wonderful person once she got to know me, but she got to know me post divorce...I told her well if you knew me before, I was waaaay more wonderful back then.  I just dont think I'm as happy as I used to be.  I just want to know when its my turn to be feel personallly fulfilled or if it will ever happen again.  I loved the feeling of being loved, I just wish it would happen again soon!

It's going to take some time, and you'll learn so much about your own strength, capability, and state of grace along the way. Think of yourself as being a beautiful metal implement forged in fire. There is so much more to live, learn, love, and when it comes time that you actually might consider facing a man again in intimacy? You'll face an estimable partner. Because you are one yourself, and you deserve no less.

There are a lot of good men out there. Most of them are married. But ;) some of them are not. The one for you will turn up when you're ready. Until then, love being your own best partner. *hugs you*

When someone is betrayed in a marriage, walls go up.  Protecting the heart from further hurt is the first part of damage control.  At some point, those walls will go down, but it won't happen overnight.  Divorce is a life changing process.  But, it can be a change for the best.  Even if you don't want this.  Sometimes, what we think we want isn't what we really want.

Reading your 'stat's', your story is familiar to mine.  We are all forever changed, but not necessarily for the worse.  We force ourselves to survive these ordeals, for when it is over we will be better for it.

The benefits of knowledge and wisdom are equal the price we paid to attain them.

You are a wonderful woman. Never forget that.