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How can he be so f*&ing delusional!?

Did he really think that things would be happily ever after for him?! How can you think that when you took a 22 year relationship and a 13 year marriage and throw it out with no regard to everyone/anyone that was tied to that relationship? Not to mention uprooting a 12 yo and 16 yo from the only house they have ever known….how did he think that would contribute to his happiness? Oh that is right it is HIS happiness that matters not that of the wife that stood by him or the kids that loved him. Could he really be that delusional to think that his life would be easier/better by destroying the lives of the three people who loved him the most?

He says he is sick of being the bad guy…..I am sorry but you earned the title fair and square.

He can’t understand why my parents and family won’t acknowledge him….well guess who wiped the tears and tried to pick up the pieces of your sobbing wife and kids when they were broken.

He can’t understand why the kids don’t like to visit….well they have new happier lives, we have all changed and are still in the process, he expects everyone to be over his choice of the OW by now. Sorry we can’t conform to your time table. When they are there he has them working, there is never any bonding time, he is mean, rude and sarcastic to them….who the hell wants to go “home” to that?

These are just a few things he has come to me with lately!?!

Delusional, that is all I can come up with.

by eclectic 268 Posts

Posted on 6/13/2009 11:51 AM

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Comments for "How can he be so f*&ing delusional!? " (6) (You must be logged in to answer)

It floors me how selfish people can be. Same w/my stbx.

I think Flutterby said it right: Delusional, denial, living in a fantasy, unrealistic, stupid, blind, selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic, self-important, pathological liar, etc. etc. etc.

by lifeinpurgatory 1830 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 10:38 PM

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Eclectic, I share your sentiments. My ex was that way about money. He couldn't understand that when you split your household, you double your bills. DUH! If they admitted what rats' asses they were, they would have no choice but to kill themselves.

by Iam 474 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 6:12 PM

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I don't think that he is delusional, I think he just stores it in the back of his head and does not want to face it..not acknowledge the pain he has caused everyone. By not acknowledging it he does not have to face or deal with it which in his mind is better.

Over time he will regret the choices he has made and he will be the one hurt.
Right now he has a quick fix but the kids will not want to be apart of his life so in reality he has lost 3 people whereas you may have lost one but you still have the two most important people in your life which are your children. And for you not to give up on everything meaning your husband and the children will mean a lot to them down the road.

There are so many of us who just sit there and think life is over because we lost the one we loved and started a family with in turn forgetting about the children. We are there physically but not emotionally for them.

by ajs008 27 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 3:07 PM

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My STBX and I had a brief conversation like your post. He simply doesnt get it that his choices, decisions and bad behavior has an affect on others. My STBX just cant fathom why my family is upset and how the kids are hurt.I cant understand how he doesnt get it. They have a name for this mentality: its called narcissism.

by AnaBella72 193 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 2:02 PM

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Delusional, denial, living in a fantasy, unrealistic, stupid, blind, selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic, self-important, pathological liar, etc. etc. etc.

The list goes on and on eclectic. I've been struggling with this for months. I said this in another post, but a friend of mine told me yesterday, "you can't reason with the unreasonable." That's him and the OW to a tee. I'm learning how to let it go, but it is really hard sometimes, isn't it?

My stbxh doesn't see why his affair has to affect his relationship with his kids. Really?! He thinks they should just get over it. Good luck with that. They feel like he abandoned our family. The girls don't want to be around him when she's in town because he's different and he thinks they are over-reacting. They never want to meet her. He says I am influencing them. I have to force them to call and text their dad. He doesn't realize how much I am helping him. They are 20 and 16. They can form their own opinions. He has lied to their face. I don't need to help them form their opinions. He took care of that all by himself.

Everyone keeps telling me it'll get better. So, here's to the day that it gets better! Cheers!

by flutterby 829 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 1:03 PM

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They say that love is blind. To this, they maybe right. But stupidity is also blindness. Maybe his stupidity stops him from see himself, you, your kids, and reality for what it really is. Maybe he is just to damn blind to see what he had in you and can't see now what to do. To bad for him, at least you still can see.

by BASSET 1132 Posts
Posted on 6/13/2009 12:07 PM

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How can he be so f*&ing delusional!?

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