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Ex-Wife comes out of coma.Now wants to start over again! 

I was married for 20 years. My ex and I share 3 beautiful girls together. We had a decent marriage.Things changed 5 years ago, when I discovered she was having an affair with her ex-college sweetheart. I forgave her for having the affair, we went through marriage counseling and I thought life was "good", it wasn`t and we finally divorced 3 years ago. 

We remain good friends because of the kids. I started dating and have moved on in my life. I`m enjoying the dating scene and have not made any commitments. I`d rather not get into a serious relationship quite yet.  

 

A few weeks ago my ex calls me to meet her away from the house so she can talk to me. We meet at a diner and she begins to tell me she made a mistake and wants to reconcile our relationship. The guy she`s been dating isn`t what she thought. He watches TV all the time and is into NASCAR racing to a point of obsession. She didn`t expect this type of relationship and suddenly it`s dawned on her our relationship wasn`t as bad as she thought.

My problem is simple. She had an affair while married to me, it was as if our bed wasn`t even cold before she took another man! I can`t forgive her for her actions and i`m not looking to start over again.

 

She feels differently and has sent a barrage of explicit texts and emails.   It` too bad things turned out badly for her. Her decision to leave me, my decision to stay away. Sadly,I don`t feel the same anymore.  

by realestatefla1  41 Posts 

Posted on 5/14/2009 5:35 AM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "Ex-Wife comes out of coma.Now wants to start over again!"  (11) (You must be logged in to answer)
I applaud your courage to move on with your life. I am divorcing my spouse of 16 years due to his incessant cheating. I feel i deserve better. My children deserve better. I hope that i can move forward with my life and find happiness. I will try to forgive him, yet i will never forget the hell he put me thru. your story inspires me. Maybe there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I am leaving our home and moving to another state with our children. like u say it is hard picking up the pieces and moving on.
by redbird   4 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 10:19 PM
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I didn't mean that to sound the way it did. Sometimes people get comfortable with each other and don't always take as good care of themselves as they ordinarily would but that wouldn't change my love for a person if I was in love. It really wouldn't.
by Kay46514   229 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 3:26 PM
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The weight was bought on by stress from job and home situation. I cared alot but was depressed... When you`re a divorce you sometimes do foolish things.I`m positive many of you have done the same....
by realestatefla1   41 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 3:06 PM
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Thank You for your kind words.It`s always hard to end any relationship much less ione which lasted 20 yrs.
It`s never easy to say "goodbye" and   go from there.
I can tell you my relationship with our children has never been stronger. I`m a better person than before.
I`ve decided to look at things in a differently than what I normally would.
Like many of you. I have closed one chapter of my life and opened a new one.
by realestatefla1   41 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 3:02 PM
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Why didn't you care enough when you was with her to lose 60 pounds and bulk up as you put it?
Just curious.
by Kay46514   229 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 2:52 PM
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I'm in a similar situation. 

I'd just say congratulations for moving on with your life.  It's probably a pretty good feeling to see that she realizes she blew it.

If this guy was not a huge NASCAR fan, or if he hit the lottery tomorrow, would she still be sending those emails?

Mt stbx asked if I wanted to be together.  I told her that ship sailed.....  Good luck!
by dazeddaily   80 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 1:57 PM
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It`s been a 3 years since this began.
I see her and the kids 3x`s a week. Once I began to date she suddenly seemed to awake and become attached to one person she`s taken notice.Prior to that, i wasn`t really  dating at all.  
 3months ago I took the kids for the weekend and they met a women who i have been close to for the past 3 months. She`s a wonderful person, the kids really enjoyed being with her and her family as well. We had a fantastic time. A few days later the ex. decided to call me questioning my intentions with this person.
I told explained to her we`re taking things slow,but, i really enjoy spending time with her.
Since than, she`s been looking at me under a different light and the text messaging and emails have followed suit. It`s has if she doesn`t look at me now as the EX spouse. She looks at me as someone new to her. I guess losing 60 pounds and bulking up didn`t hurt! I`m back to my "body building days"...  
I`m over her, it was hard. Time doesn`t wait for anyone. It`s never easy to pick up the pieces and move on...
by realestatefla1   41 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 1:44 PM
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How long did it take for her to realize the mistake she made?  Mine was not an affair but instead his mental illness..bipolar. Ok, so not apples to apples but I am curious....will the day come when he realizes how much his wife loved and adored him........(sigh)...

There are consequences to affairs. I wish the cheating partner would realize that....
by vlady   2123 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 12:04 PM
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Rarely is the grass greener on the other side! I wish more people would think long and hard about things before going into action (cheating) or just seeking what they believe will be more exciting! I know what it is to forgive and they are fortunate to have that, but to expect you, us, to stop life waiting for them to come to their senses, is pure stupidity and selfish! Maybe next time she will think before taking such actions, but my experience says otherwise...
by kdb   3175 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 11:06 AM
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Thats got to make it even more awkward for upcoming events between you, her and the kids. But Kay46514 you hit it right on the head. Forgiving doesn't mean you still dont pay the price for your actions, it just means you get to pay the price with less guilt.
by Heartbrokepicker   418 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 7:27 AM
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And why should you feel the same? She cheated and you moved on. Now it is her turn to deal with it. Mistakes can be forgiven but it doesn't mean there isn't a price to pay for it. She should have thought about that before having an affair.
by Kay46514   229 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2009 7:04 AM
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