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She's Getting New Boobs

So it's been on week since he told me. I'm tackling things one day at a time. Telling our friends when I run into them at parties. Asked him to agree to "freeze" my 401k now as far as community property goes if he wants to keep living together for the kids and keep the girlfriend. Changed the passwords on some of our accounts. Got the money from the safe. Told him to set up his own account to pay for his own stuff. I'm sick of seeing charges on my credit card bills for $85 dinners at Benihana.

Today I am working and he is down with her taking care of her while she gets her boobs bigger or perkier or something. I hate that I'm workimg while he sits in a lobby somewhere reading people magazine.

I got a massage at lunch and tried so hard not think about all this and just relax. I was abut 50% sucessful but only becuase she was kinda rough and it distracted me.

I can't decide if I should hate and be difficult and angry or just admit that even though he was the one that cheated, neither one of us is in love anymore and just be mature about it. Embrace it with a smile and just flip a switch to being his room mate and friend.

I just he would at least say he was sorry. It would make it a lot easier to take the high road.

Yesterday I cleaned my nails with his toothbrush :)

by LisaLoves 2 Posts

Posted on 4/23/2009 3:23 PM

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Comments for "She's Getting New Boobs" (15) (You must be logged in to answer)

I'm confused a little, I guess... you said you two were "swingers"... does that not mean that you are having sex with other people? You also seem to say that you are continuing to date on your own... Pardon my honesty, but it doesn't sound like you're all that broken hearted about this.

You should file for divorce NOW and get on with your life. He's obviously moving on with his. You're in CA and you're not going to get away for long with manipulating the money situation. It's a no-fault state, and you arent' doing yourself any favors by continuing to co-mingle all the financials.

On top of this, kids aren't stupid. If they haven't already figured it out, they soon will. What sort of example are you setting for them in terms of what's acceptable behavior? What example are you setting for them if you're off dating all the time and the husband is off with his gf? If you think the kids aren't aware to some degree, I think you're sorely mistaken.

File for divorce already. Stop the games and the manipulative (and frankly, childish) behavior. Move on with your life in peace and freedom.

by CTcutie 1 Post
Posted on 4/29/2009 12:04 AM

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I understand about trying to make lemonade when you've been handed lemons. My STBX lived at home in the front room until last night when he mysteriously decided to move out. I was willing to continue our arrangement for the sake of our daughter. It didn't stop me from learning and working through the process.

That being said, the boob job would have been a bit much for me to handle. I'd had to agree with HIC, clean the toilet with it.

by Keth 330 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2009 3:15 PM

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Do you have a separate fund to pay for the kids psychotherapy and issues with relationships?

by HurtInColorado 1390 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2009 2:59 PM

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Thanks everybody for your feedback. I actually don't view myself as a doormat. I am just making a decision. If we can live together in peace, it is better for the kids. Obviously if there is fighting and drama, we may as well not. That's why my goal would be to get over the anger. Frankly, I'm the one that's gonna end up paying spousal support and he would get the kids and the big house since he's their primary caregiver and I work tons (role reversal due to crapy economy). If I leave, I have to pay him and pay for my own place. Right now, I have the freedom to date and know that they are taken care of. When he is off with the gf, I cover for him. There is no need for the kids to know any of this if we can adjust and live in peace. For my kids, I am wiling to try it. BUT, I did tell him I want the BMW now since I make the money. No more need to pander to his ego. And I am making boundaries with the money so that I feel like I'm not being taken advantage of.

by LisaLoves 2 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2009 2:40 PM

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LOL I HAVE used his toothbrush to clean the toilet. Nothing like a well-worn toothbrush to get right up there under the rim. I even thought of using his toothbrush when I thought the dog might have a fever. But if supposed I wouldn't get a very accurate reading by sticking a toothbrush up the dog's ass.
Your situation is not funny, though. People treat us the way we teach them to treat us. I agree with the other posts that say staying together for the children doesn't work. It would be different if you agreed, 'we don't love each other, but let's decide to live as friends and not date other people until the kids grow up.' I don't think that would work either.
PS - I'm sure your boobs are way nicer!

by THISwillEnd 120 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 6:31 PM

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Umm, yeah, I'm a little confused as to why you're stilling living together.... in your story on the other page, you said you plan to stay with him for 6 more years.... 6 more years???? seriously? why? I'm sorry, but even if I didn't love my stbx, I would not want to live with her and know that she is sleeping with someone else on a regular basis... even if she allowed me to do the same!

by Brian60 325 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 6:22 PM

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Lisa, it's my guess you're not only getting stuck with Benihana, you're getting stuck with all or part of her boob job as well. CLOSE any joint accounts, don't just remove his name from them. Open new accounts in your name only and don't mix the money. I'd also get a darned good lawyer to draw up an agreement for separate finances even if you choose to live together. You can be an adult, that's all fine and good, but any guy who screws Miss Boobsalot while he's still married is a skunk and won't behave like an adult. Maybe an adult skunk, but that's about it!

by Iam 5280 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 5:38 PM

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I have to say that I don't think living together for the kids sake really works unless they are very young and don't have a clue what's going on. Otherwise it just confuses them, and the older ones pick up on bits of conversation and come to their own conclussions about whats going on. Besides think about how the kids feel living with all the tension and stress in the household? It affects their sleep, their school work, and their relationships with friends and siblings. I realize that many states don't require married couples to move out during the divorce proceedings ( like Illinois ) ...but I feel it is just WRONG on so many levels......................and by the way I say clean the toilet with his tooth brush, he deserves it!!!!!

by freebird 29 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 5:37 PM

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Ex-lax in his brownies.

The first thing I did when he cheated and left was get my own accounts. Mine never went into the red. Our 'joint' one did. Constantly. I too got tired of seeing $200 withdraws from the local bars. Every other night.

You are such a better person than I am.

Eye drops in his drink. Think about it.

by krislyn 102 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 5:06 PM

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Well, I understand that you are wondering if you should be mad or just okay with what he has done to you. It's true that two people have to work on a marriage but it seems as though he is just flaunting the other woman in front of your nose. If you are not in love with him anymore, then I can see where you wouldn't be so angry but if it were me, I would make sure that all your money and credit cards are totally split, call the cards and make sure his name is off them and really be aware of what's going on. How long are you intending on staying in the same house as he?

by deborah-trevino 1100 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 4:21 PM

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You officially have a new name: DOORMAT.

Wake up and smell the homeless, get your pride up, and DO something about your situation.

by HurtInColorado 1390 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 4:00 PM

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Yeah, he cheatd. No excuse for that because he could have ended it first. Period. Allow yourself to be in pain and grieve what was but TRY to take the highroad. You won't regret it later.

Oh and maybe clean the toilet with his toothbrush. He'll never know.

by Tracy74 638 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 3:55 PM

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lol...HIC...lol

So, why are you guys living together? I would have tried to give him a bad case of Moctezuma's revenge...lol

You are so much bigger than I could ever be....you might be healthier mentally.....

by vlady 2619 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 3:46 PM

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wow. i'm blown away by this posts for a couple of reasons.

the first is the obvious one.....i'm just as mad as you thinking of him reading people magazine while she's getting plastic surgery....wow!

the other shocker is your very realistic and open approach to this. i agree....if two people are just not in love.....why not be adults and move on nicely.....

i wish more people would see that and admit it out loud maybe.

but.....he cheated....while married....without permission from you, right?

so, that's wrong.

and you have every right to be crazy mad and hurt and disgusted.

and he's being quite cruel about it now, right? not even trying to hide it or care about your feelings?

and he's not even sorry.

so...i'd say yes....you have every reason to be upset.

by paula1 19547 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 3:31 PM

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I would have used his toothbrush to clean the toilet. You're way too nice.

by HurtInColorado 1390 Posts
Posted on 4/23/2009 3:31 PM

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