Dealing with my own control issues as a divorced parent! 

It has taken me quite a while to realize that I can barely control my own individual life, let alone anyone elses.  That means my ex, my kids, my neighbors, the government, anyone!  That lesson didn't come easy, but it really has most often presented itself through being a divorced parent.  You see when I first was divorced, my kids were just one and three.  Suddenly my precious little bundles were out of my line of sight, let alone my control, 3 days a week.  That meant learning to accept that Dad thought that eating M&Ms for breakfast was suitable subsistance for a three year old.  It meant understanding that when it was my day to pick them up from daycare, they might be mismatched, or have messed up hair.  At first, I really was burned about it.  I was ready to call in Social Services or anyone really who would just DO something about it.  But then a wise mom who had gone through this when she divorced snapped me out of it.  She explained that in the big picture those things aren't life threatening, and there really was nothing I could do.  Fast forward ten years.  I now have budding teenagers.  I see that control issues are popping up again.  My ex and I don 't see eye to eye on how these kids should function and behave.  But I finally have come to relax a bit, and realize, if it's not life threatening, that I really should just sit back, because really I can't control it anyway.  In fact, I've learned the more I push any of them (the kids or the ex) the more they push back.  Where if I let the chips fall where they may, they all seem to learn the hard way, and I get to say a lot of silent, "I told you sos".