Time to Don my Warrior Clothes 

Correct me if I am wrong, but for a 50% - 50% parenting thing don't you have to live close to each other?  They have to attend the same school, activities & etc.  Is it the same in Canada? You are in Canada, no?

Another thing, just because he wants 50% - 50% parenting doesn't mean a judge would agree. 

You wish him well?? are you kidding, I am wishing the same truck that should run my ex over, run yours over too :-), smile, smile.

Hey, sounds like you’re ready, remember what Mae West Said:

 

“Don’t let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella”

i totally relate. our stories are very similar. 

something must be done about the divorce/custody/support laws. 

it is just grossly unjust that these people are allowed to parent at will.....what would happen if the physical custody parent did that?  child services would be there.  but it's actually stated in decrees that visitation is a right for the other parent....not a requirement...

because you can't force someone to be a parent.

i'll never understand why my ex can also party instead of parent, just like yours..

Thanks for your support all. My kids are 8,6,4. My ex has always worked out of town. He's gone about 80% of the year. And when he's gone he doesn't even phone them.
 
Honestly, I can count on two hands the number of times he's called them in the last year and a half. When he IS in town, he divides half his time with his gf and them. He takes her on trips, books time off to be with her, but doesn't do that for my kids. I really don't care that he has a gf - I want him to be happy - I just want him to make being a GOOD dad a priority.

When I set up our agreement, all I said was that he needed to give me 24-hours notice when he wanted the kids. That's it. We also also said he could have them up to 50% of the time, but that's never happened. What's resulted is that he totally abuses this 24-hour rule, taking them when and if he wants. Usually I have them back within 24 - 48 hours, which is better for the kids anyway cause of his bullyish ways...but it also has meant he never has them on weekends cause he chooses to party instead of parent.

I've been to see a child psychologist to discuss his parenting...I tried to get him to go. But he says the kids are 'fine' and refuses to see his problem - he just takes it as a personal attack from me and tells me I'm a protective mother hen. What this means is that I end up doing damage control when the kids are given back, while he continues on doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Now his work is slow...and so he's coming after the kids so he doesn't have to pay child support. I think that's really transparent and am confident any judge will see that. But I am scared of him, and am scared of the what-ifs...

One other thing - he just moved to a different city about 30 - 40 minute drive away. All my kids activities are here in my community. He still wants to take them during the week...and I'm saying NO. It totally screws up their schedules and leaves them in the car.

Thanks for listening.  Delaine

What the heck...I thought he traveled quite a bit. Now he is staying put?  Great. How old are the kids? We are here for you Delaine. There is NOTHING worse than a mama bear taking care of her cubs. Watch out buddy!!!

I hope that what is best for the kids is what happens, take care and I wish you the best...

If you're truly afraid of what will happen and I believe you are based on some things I've read else where. Document EVERYTHING. Dates, times, and details make a journal. I have a soft spot in my heart for kids. I definitely am firm with my son but I try my hardest not to hurt his feelings at the same time. Sounds like it it's time to pull the gloves off and grab some brass knuckles. Your kids should not be dropping there chins into there chest when Dad's on the scene unless they did something to warrant a such a firm correction.

How old are your children?  How do they feel about that arrangement?  I know it would be hard for you and them, but if they could talk to the judge themselves and say they don't want to be with dad so much, the judge would probably listen to them.

Throughout my separation (8 months into it now), there have been many things to upset me when dealing with the stbx.  The main things have concerned my kids.....I'm like mama bear when it comes to them.  Men don't seem to understand the 'mama bear' instinct!

You don those warrior clothes and go get 'em mama!

There is nothing worse than facing a Mother trying to protect her children.  That's when we fight like no other fight we've ever been in.  I hope everything works out for you.