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Sick to my stomach--need to look at cellphone bills, credit card bills etc.

Hello all,

I feel so sick to my stomach. My STBX is on TDY and he's initiated the divorce and here I am unwanted in my own home and trying to gather my valuables before he comes back and I look at our cellphone records and our credit card accounts online (his cards that he thinks I don't have access to) and I know there is no way he's just spending $40+ for dinner every night at a Buffalo Wild Wings, Chili's, or other places (that would NOT cost $40 per person etc) and I feel so sick to my stomach knowing its the OW.

Even though he's initiated divorce, how come I still want to check and want to believe differently, and how come it still hurts?

What do I do?

I want to cry...

I'm trying to find a good lawyer asap and I feel like he's having a blast, smiling, getting his ducks in order while knowing I'm in pain struggling...

by SadFormerMilitaryWife 22 Posts

Posted on 3/27/2009 3:38 PM

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Tags: crying , pain , credit card bills , ow ,
cell phone records , messaging , cheating spouse

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Comments for "Sick to my stomach--need to look at cellphone bills, credit card bills etc." (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

I agree with Delia and Trisha, unless you are afraid to stay in your house, I wouldn't leave.

Make copies of everything, all the bills, bank statements, whatever you can get your hands on.

See what the military resource website has to offer. Mil can help you if you have any questions.

I know it's hard, but right now, you have to think with a clear head and get your ducks in a row.

by Kitty7470 2621 Posts
Posted on 3/27/2009 4:30 PM

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I agree with Delia. I wouldn't leave until a judge put me out. Get copies of those credit card bills. He spent marital money on a g/f. I don't know how California handles that but it might help you. Bank statements, income tax for the last few years, anything concerning financial history. Also you can take half of any money in savings for yourself. Just make sure it is only half and keep a record of it.

Anything of yours you want to keep take it out and put it in a safe place. See what the military offers in the way of counseling. You will need it to help get through this.

by trisha9054 4967 Posts
Posted on 3/27/2009 3:59 PM

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Personally, if you own the home (even if it's in his name) - I'd plant my ass right there and tell him if he wants me out he can bloody well wait till the judge signs the papers and buy me out of any equity I'm entitled to. There just is NO way he can leave you high and dry, especially in the military. MAKE them listen to you on post, the military has a bad enough rap right now, they don't need the extra negative publicity a story like this could bust open.

Why do you think there's a saying "nobody likes to deal with a pissed off army wife"???????

Use that to your advantage!

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 3/27/2009 3:46 PM

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First of all, make triple copies of ALL financial documents. Send one copy to a trusted friend, put one copy in a bank safety deposit box that he does not know about, and keep the other for yourself if you want, but I'd make damn sure it's well hidden so he can't find it and use anger on you to terrify you anymore. If it's joint anything or in your marital home you have every right to have copies.

Next step is to do what MillyP suggested, go to the military resource website she sent you the link for. You need a mad dose of empowerment to get your head back on the right way and realize you are NOT a victim here, you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 3/27/2009 3:43 PM

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