Why the tears? Why now? 

We have cleared another hurdle.  My stbx and I have reached a tentative agreement.  I told him that I wanted to work things out between the two of us and that I would be fair as long as he could.  We sat down the other night and worked out the values of the various assets we share and who wanted what.  The only thing that we were waiting on was the appraisal on our primary residence.  I had put in an estimate of what I thought it might come back as and the bottom line had me owing him some money.  Today I got the appraisal, it was much less than anticipated.  Good for me, not so good for him.  The new amount changed the bottom line to him owing me a small amount.  I told him that I would call it even.  He agreed.  Now I just have to fill out the attorneys paperwork and file.  I got everything that I wanted and we settled without mediation, so why am I feeling sad?  I thought that I would feel relief.  This is a big step toward my new life.  One that I am in control of and no longer under the shadow of his thumb.  I can do as I please, make my own plans, and I don't have anyone telling me that I am not worthy.  I should be elated, but I feel like I am mourning a loss.  I thought that feeling was behind me after I got used to sleeping in my bed alone, and after learning that he was not.  I changed all of the household bills to my name, I got my own bank account, my own credit card.  I learned to go out to a movie alone, I have moved on.  Or  so I thought.  Where is this feeling coming from?  Why do I want to curl up and cry?  I quit crying over this months ago, why now?  What other emotional surprises are ahead of me?