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I will be moving out of my house within two weeks, I am so nervous about doing this.  I was told to take everything that I want with the move, because that will be my last chance to get what I want. 


We were married close to 20yrs and everywhere I look there is so much that I want to take with me.  How do you choose what to take when you are downsizing knowing there will not be another chance until the divorce is complete.


I just feel so dead inside today and I really feel like crying, not because of him but this whole situation.  Since I have no job at the moment, I am very careful of what I spend because I am using my savings that I put aside. 


I was told by my lawyer the only way I can get money from him is by moving out, otherwise I do not get one cent.  I wish I saw this happening to me six years ago.  I started saving but only a year ago.


I put so much into helping him with his ebay acct, and never took money for myself but put it into the mortgage and bank acct.  Now he gets the house and I move to the apartment. 


I asked him to pick up some dog treats and a little chicken or turkey lunch meat for our dog, he told me didn't have the money and Nina can eat dog food without the extra lunch meat.  I felt like ripping his face off, I am sure Nina is upset with how we are in here. 


He has money for buying his liquidation items like crazy, buying his coffee and donuts and eats them at home, buys his food and is golfing, and with a girl friend, I am sure he takes her out. 


He was to go on a golfing trip this week but didn't go, I am not sure why, but he was home and than gone some days, but I know it was not work. 


Oh how I have rambled on......I am just so upset, I need to get my stuff (furniture, clothing, decorations, baskets, kitchen items, bath items, any thing that is mine) out of the house, this is such stress.  If I leave it behind, I am afraid he will give it away to his girlfriend or whoever.  I am worried he will try to block me taking my stuff, any one have an experience with moving out without the stbxh knowing????

by onestepcloser  72 Posts 

Posted on 3/14/2009 6:54 PM
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Tags: moving out , separation , stress , financial woes ,
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Comments for "DID ANYONE MOVE FROM THEIR HOUSE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE KNOWING??????"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Yes, I did, too. Took the things that were gifts (a single wingback chair and ottoman), a spare airbed, my clothes, books, pictures, computer, and a dog and a cat and their items.

Did it much like Trisha, too. One load, with help from friends.
The MINUTE he left for work, I was going through rooms and packing into grocery bags and moving them into hallways until they could be moved into vehicles.  Once my friends arrived we were in and out of the house within an hour.

Yes, I did forget a few things, but specified them in the divorce decree, and returned the airbed then.

Make sure to get the things with memories OUT so they can't be destroyed (photographs mostly)
everything else can be replaced....

by lizm   723 Posts
Posted on 3/14/2009 7:31 PM

If your stbx does show up you need to be there. You would hate for him to call the police and have your friends get in trouble until you can straighten it out.
You need to be making a list of the things you want to take. It will make it easier on that day. If he's out of town that would be even safer. You take care and please let me know you got moved safely. I do know how scary that can be.
by trisha9054   4890 Posts
Posted on 3/14/2009 7:26 PM

I did it. The first husband. I was 23 at the time. He was an alcoholic and a push and shover. The night before I left he was drunk and pulled the phone cord out of the wall and put a knife to my neck as I held our daughter. Told me if I ever tried to leave he would kill me. I got him calmed down and my daughter off to bed.

The next morning he wasn't a mile down the road and I had all the curtains off the windows and I was loading the car. I managed to move almost everything by myself and I borrowed my dad's truck and a friend helped me move the bedroom set. I had loaded and moved everything else. I had to leave my stove, refrigerator and washer ,dryer. I just couldn't handle those.

I left all his clothes neatly piled up on the floor. I only took what I had paid for. Which was all the furniture. I left the car down at the local hotel/bar where he stopped to drink every night before coming home.  I knew the man who owned the bar. I went to school with his daughter. I was told when my first husband went in the bar he asked "Where's Trisha".  The bar owner took great pleasure in telling him I had left him and left the car there for him. They said that old man was grining from ear to ear. Apparently no one liked him and didn't like the way he had been treating me.

I didn't go back. A knife to my throat was enough for me. Do I regret the way I left. No I don't. I was into living and I wasn't about to take a chance with my life or my daughters. That's why I sometimes give a different answer from everyone else when that discussion comes up. Yes, the stbx deserves to know but not if it will put your life in danger.

Be sure you have plenty of help and try to get everything in one load. Take the big stuff first and then the boxes. If you have to make more than one load be sure you stay at the house. Let your help take your things to the apt. I'm running out of space. will continue
by trisha9054   4890 Posts
Posted on 3/14/2009 7:23 PM

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