I feel like I'm going through a divorce all over again! About teenage kids! 

I feel like I've just had an ephiphany! I have been fairly lucky so far in my divorced life.  We managed to do it without lawyers.  We have been raising our kids together for 10 years, doing reasonably well. Sure now and then we hit a bump in the road, but somehow we realized we were on the same page, and we could somehow manipulate the kids into behaving the way we want them to.  Now, enter the teenage years.  It seems like we are suddenly on a whole new trail.  Is it that different?  Oh yes.  It was sort of easy to deal with simple issues like where the kids would attend elementary school and who was picking them up and how to spend holidays.  But NOW, it isn't just about us. It isn't just us that get to have a say and decide.  Now the little person isn't so little, and they have thoughts and opinions too.   My philosophy is one of I want to be a guide and a consultant.  I want my kids to learn as much as they can through experience and mistakes.  I want them to learn how to make decisions.  My ex on the other hand is somehow stuck in a time warp, and he wants everything to stay just the way it was...which is he calls the shots and they ask how high to jump.  We have started disagreeing more and more, and interestingly, the issues are harder and harder to just roll of my back.  I feel like I am treading thin ice, much like when I was first divorced.  How do we communicate? How do we decide what is best for the kids? How do we decide what is best for us? Me oh my, it's going to get interesting around here!