Some good parenting advice 

I am in a difficult situation. My wife decided to leave and begin a new relationship with her high school sweetheart. She walked out on me and our eleven yr old son. She has had a baby by this man.  Consequently, our son will not talk or respect his mother. There were some physical issues I was not made aware of until after she left. She has been gone for roughtly nineteen months now. During that time she has not  made virtually any effort to have a relationship with our son. Now she is starting to call him and he will not talk to her acknowledge her in any way. She did not attend counseling like she was asked to by a judge. If she mails him a card or letter it is immediately thrown away. I do not encourage him to act this way to his mother. It has gone from talking ugly to not talking at all. I know that he desperately needs a mother and I cannot make him talk to her. If I get involved in it, he demonstrates anger towards me for talking to him about it.   He wants nothing to do with her boyfrend, personality issues not what has happened ot us. He wants nothing to do with this new baby who will be a year in April. Do keep encouraging him to have a relationship with his mom or should I stay out of it completely and let them work out their differecnces. (By the way my wife does not accept respnosibility for therir sad shape of affairs, but rather blames me for this for which I have never exploited our son so I can get vengeace back on my wife.) IF there are any parents who have had to deal with a situation like this I could sure use some help on this matter