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Are You Scared to be Single Again?  

 With all of the doom and gloom about the economy bombarding us every time we turn on the TV, it is no wonder people are fearful. With job loss at an all time high, the high rate of foreclosures and a plummeting stock market, most people are nervous. if you are married and your spouse loses his job, you may have to live on one income. But if you are single and lose your income there may be no income coming in at all.

 

 It can be scary to be divorced and single again. At least when you were married there was someone there to share your fears with. Together, you knew you could get through tough times . Now you are all alone and may have to be the primary caregiver and breadwinner in your family. This can feel overwhelming. You may even wonder why you got divorced in the first place. Was your marriage really that bad?

 

It is easy to let the fear take over but you need to take a deep breath and have some faith in yourself. You will be okay. Being single has many benefits, one is that you are free to call your own shots and create your life exactly how you want it to be. If you feed into all of the negativity that surrounds us nowadays and panic, you will see your worst fears realized.

 

Being responsible for your own financial and emotional well being can be frightening but it can also be empowering. Now is the time to take control of your emotions and face your fears. Some singles may be tempted to jump back into a relationship again to gain security, but is having so called security worth your freedom and happiness?

 

Hang in there and have faith. Things will improve, despite all of the dire warnings to the contrary. We will all get through these tough times. By being hopeful and having confidence in yourself as a single person, you will make it on your own.

 

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce....

by Christina-Rowe  298 Posts 

Posted on 2/26/2009 4:22 PM
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Tags: economy , single , fear , foreclosures ,
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Comments for "Are You Scared to be Single Again? "  (7) (You must be logged in to answer)




The thing on the link that jumped out at me is

The House, The Kids,The Business And The Child Support I Was Owed!


Hmmm... is this what you agree with? This is exactly why some men are heartless when it come to divorce. They expect this and start off with a STRONG OFFENSE. If push came to shove I will fight like one of Micheal Vick's pitbulls if I have to.  No one owes the ex child support . That is for the child. A father sure as hell doesn't owe anyone his children. Bad husband does not always equal bad father. The business and house are dependent upon the stbx's contributions to those endeavours and being a trophy wife is not a contribution in my mind.  So you ladies don't get it twisted I think Madonna got screwed.  Don't you guys think men read these books too to be able to see through some of these tactics. These books sell ammunition to guys like me who are willing to read them to see what may come our way. Therefore I already have a plan for offense.

Now as for being afraid of being single again:

Yeah I always ask myself if I'm blowing this out of proportion. Is she pulling one of these emotional off balancing tactics I read about in women's divorce books to keep me confused and compassionate. I've also gotten to a point were I don't want to wear out my welcome with friends so I don't ask or talk to them about it much to them. Sometimes I do feel like at least "someone" is there to talk to. Will I find someone that I will love just as much as I used to love my wife? But am I selling myself short or am I just being selfish. I could and have battled this for over a year and a half now. But I keep my eyes and ears open so I don't get played.
by Ambivalent   267 Posts
Posted on 2/27/2009 8:38 AM
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I'm not scared to be single either. For the last ten years my ex wasn't home much anyway. I had handled all the paycheck since we first got married. Now I just have less money and less bills.

But I don't have to worry about the next phone call from some other woman and see all the beer he was consuming and what it was doing to his health.
by trisha9054   4967 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 6:44 PM
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Millie- I hear ya.  I'm in a situation where I'm not making any money, I live with my parents and I'm in school.  Any man willing to take me on is brave.
by Dactyl   2606 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 6:34 PM
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I am not afraid to be single because of finances. It is actually kind of liberating to say how my income gets spent. I feel fortunate that I have a pretty secure job. I would never want a relationship based on that kind of thing anyway. However, I realize that there is that concern out there for many and often wonder if I was in the dating scene right now, would that be the bigger attraction for some man to have for me. The fact that I do have a house, a good, stable job, and decent income? That is kind of scary. I would want to know that it was because of me, not what they would hope to gain.
by militaryp   2950 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 6:25 PM
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I can't say that I'm scared either.  My job is secure (people are always committing crimes) so I'm not worried about loosing it.  I do get overwhelmed occasionally being the only parent taking care of our son, and the occasional monkey wrench in the whole thing when something breaks around the house.  But I'm learning really quick how to fix things with duct tape, a paper clip and gum......
by Kitty7470   2620 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 4:41 PM
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One of the scary things about being single is the raising of the kids without the other to fall back on. You keep the communications going but its still not the same thing. And from what I see out there as far as getting married again, I have to honestly say why bother? Too many people have the attitude "after me you come first" and that just doesn't work in a marriage.
by Heartbrokepicker   418 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 4:31 PM
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I can say I'm not scared to be single.  My spouse DID lose his job, back in 2000 and became a business owner.  We went through the whole financial instability thing for 8 years.  We had good times and bad times.  Many times, I was the only breadwinner.  And, I hated it.  I can't wait until I finish school and am teaching.  I'm looking forward to buying my own place.  Maybe I'm an oddity.
by Dactyl   2606 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 4:26 PM
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