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Why Staying Together for the Sake of the Kids is Not Always a Good Idea 

We hear so much about how damaging divorce is to children and how kids are almost always better off living with two parents who are married. But if your home is filled with shouting, anger and disrespect, a divorce may be better for your kids in the long run.

 

 I was watching an episode of "Marriage 911" a show where a marriage counselor spends time with a family on the verge of a divorce. This couple was so mean to one another. The husband called his wife a "fat slob" in front of the kids and the wife told the kids that "dad is a moron". The fighting was endless, with the couple battling it out in front of the children.

 

 Finally, the older daughter wrote a sign that said "Breakup or Shut up". Her parents were shocked, but realized the kid was right. All of their fighting and put downs was emotionally damaging their kids. Fortunately,this couple (with the help of the marriage counselor)was able to save their marriage and stop fighting.

 

The fact is children who are subjected to years of witnessing their parents fight, will suffer emotionally. They risk growing up and entering into their own dysfunctional relationships. If you are thinking about getting a divorce, but just staying together for the kids' sake, think again. Unless you can repair your marriage and start treating each other with respect, you are not doing your kids any favors.

 

 Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

by Christina-Rowe  298 Posts 

Posted on 2/21/2009 12:54 AM
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Tags: children and divorce , divorce and kids , marriage counselor , save your marriage ,
emotinal abuse , christina rowe
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Comments for "Why Staying Together for the Sake of the Kids is Not Always a Good Idea"  (1) (You must be logged in to answer)




Thank you for such an excellent post. As a child of a chaotic parental relationship I cringe every time I hear "we are staying together for the kids" not realising they are doing 500% more damage to said kids than if they just separated/divorced in the first place.

Children learn by example - and boundaries is a big part of that - children given the example of an unhealthy relationship with atrocious boundaries are doomed to repeat the travesty.

So yes - for the sake of the kids - no matter what it takes - separation at least is better than staying together. Having had such personal experience I feel extremely passionately about my viewpoint!!! :)
by smartcookie36   200 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2009 5:18 PM
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