I feel like I am slipping away. 

This place may be a great help, Cher. But you need a real-world support system. Friends or family that can be there for you and to help you. To make some of the every day decisions that need to be made so that you can be free from some of these things.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way - I totally can sympathize with you, because I go through the same feelings every day.  But I'm going to try to step outside of myself for a moment, and view it from your ex-bf's point of view.

And this is what I see:

You're going through a really rough time.  Anyone who really cares about you, is going to understand you are going to need a lot of time and breathing space to get better. There is an entire process you must go through, to purge your life and family of all the negative stuff that comes from a divorce.

Right now, you don't need to be focusing on a new relationship, or going back to an old relationship. I haven't read your blogs, so I'm assuming there is a very good reason the exboyfriend is an ex.

Take care of you right now. Surround yourself with good friends and family, build up that support group.  Let others take care of YOU and remind you of how wonderful you are. You're going through some major shit right now, sister, and you need this kind of support to help you find your way back to who you used to be.

You're not falling off a cliff, hun.  You're just going through the process, and one day you will realize it doesn't hurt as much. You won't be as angry. The days will get easier to go through. Soon you will start caring about shit like who is winning American Idol - it's going to be great. But you gotta get there, and the only way to do that, is by loving yourself and allowing yourself the time to grieve and heal.

You're gonna be ok. You really will.  :)

As much as this hurts me to say, because I didn't want to believe it myself.  it will only get getter when you let it.  I have wiped away buckets of tears wondering why and the only answer I get is because.  What kind of answer is that, it works on my kids but we are not kids anymore.  Just keep asking and that small still voice from within can speak.  Then look out out world because you are going to stand up and take charge.  Be well.

Cherbear, I feel your pain and confusion coming through. Yes, this site is wonderful but you might also want to consider the divorce care classes that Dad mentioned. They were very helpful. It gives you a new way of looking at things. I also saw a counselor. Do all of it and more if that is what it takes. I wish I had words of wisdom but know this, you are an amazingly caring person, I see that on here, with how you care about other people's situations, even though you are going through a lot yourself. The power of prayer is amazing and I will be praying for you as well as many other people on here will be, I am sure. I wish I could just reach out and give you a great big hug.

Cher, baby!  You are such a light in my world!  I don't even know what to say (for once).  You know how to get a hold of me if you need to!  (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) for my CHERBEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cher~'

This is what I mean when I talk about being in this boat together-holding each others head up to get a sip of water because we are not strong enuf' to do it on our own.....

Its like we can try to give advice that sometimes we can't even take ourselves....Our worlds are just turned upside down, we don't always make the right choices either....Its like being in a dark room trying to feel our way around for a light switch-then someone just lights a tiny little match- all of a sudden there is light in the room, it may be a dim light but its a LIGHT!

Hang in there sweetie, what else can we do?

Terri

I'm not one to talk because I still hurt myself from all this but I do believe that there is a better place in sight. I want to believe that. You will get there Cherbear, I will too I know we can. I'm here for you (c:

*hugs*

hi cher ! iam crying right now !cause cher i feel like i know u,me and u both are going through alot right now.i understand your hurt and pain.i just got over what u are going through.but i counldnt let my bf know it,cause it was someone else.i had to hide my pain and hurt.i had to deal with it alone.trust me it gets better cher.in not going to lie to u.i felt like i was going crazy.cher i will make sure i check the site and no matter what time it is.u send me an message ok.i will be here for u . shy

Just know we are here for you and we got your back! We won't let you slip away! Hang in there cher, we need you to keep writing and giving us support just as we will for you...

In my divorcecare class, we study different aspects of divorce each week. The one on lonliness talked about how Jesus felt the night He was arrested. He knew what was comming. He knew the very ones He came to save would betray Him. He asked His closest friends to be there for Him and pray. He went and prayed twice, only to return to them being asleep. He was then betrayed twice by the very one who swore he would never deny Him, three times. He was mocked, spit on, insulted, beaten and crucified, yet He never got angry. He has been where we are, and where we're going. And He is here with you, and me, and everyone of us, knowing how we hurt, and loving us. Ask for His peace, His comfort, and His joy. He offers it freely and abundantly.

Cher, I could say a thousand poetic things, but none of them will help with the hurt.  Life is hard; love is hard; loss is hard.

But as you know, you will make it through.  Claw your way forward and eventually your clawing will turn into a sprint...

I know how you feel. 

The strangest thing, in work, I am on top of my game at all times.  I go into job interviews and the world revolves around me.  In this economy I turned down a job last week, who does that? 

With the result of my divorce, I looked back on my relationships.  I have never been confident about my relationships.  Of course, dating back to my first boyfriend in high school they have all cheated. 

Keep coming back here because you may not feel like it helps but it does.  Know that the way you feel is just as I feel.  But we can't slip away because everyone on d360 needs us.  They need our input.  Eventually someone will notice us and realize we are a good enough to be loved for who we are.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. And all I can do is say I understand and hope you feel better tomorrow. The others have given you such good advice all I can do is say I understand and give moral support.
 You take care,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Cher.  The truth is that you will feel whole when you can be comfortable with yourself.  You need to love yourself first and be comfortable with yourself first before you can move on.  This isn't to say that you won't have days where you feel lonely or that you want to be with someone...you will.  There is a reason for the saying, "No man is an island."  We are social creatures, and we need company and companionship.  But, sometimes, we need to move on and we need to find the next thing in our lives.  Like with everything else, we need to take these bad days slow, hour at a time.  I hope tonight gets better for you Cher.  We're here for you if you need us!

Oh Cher I wish I could answer how long it will take to feel whole again.  I am sooooooooo sorry.  Whenever I ask mine a question I feel so much worse than before because the answer never helps me feel better.  You do not deserve this and he does not deserve you.  Take Care and a big hug from me!

It's tough Cherbear, I do understand.  It sounds like you're running circles.  I may be wrong but it sounds like you need focus and direction, a REASON for doing, being.   Something that makes you YOU. You're a wonderful woman with a heart of gold, I think you need to see that, and be happy within your own skin. Find comfort in you because your a good person, and not because of a BF or even friends here at D360.
Do you have faith? I would recommend prayer.  God will help you. I would also recommend a counsellor who can help you sort out your inner feelings.  
Cherbear, know that you are a valued member here, and you are appreciated.  And I'm here, if you need anything, K?