I am not the type who would wreck a friendship or family... 

As some of you know yes, I am involved with a married man, openly sort of, not in public but in our home where our neighbors need never know what sort of relationships we have...

Yes, I moved in with my lover and his wife.

Previously she had told me her libido withered on the vine post hysterectomy.  She smokes and was not a good candidate for hormone therapy...

Her husband told me when we first became intimate that he had not felt the touch of a woman in 18 months.  Coming from a nearly sexless marriage that ended in divorce I related well with him.

While she never told me the actual frequency they made love, she did confess no interest in sexuality to me.

What she is stating now is a complete 180 from previous information.  Now she says she wants intimacy, she is tired of not having him in her bed most nights and that she wants to have sex.  Unfortunately he told us both that after years of being pushed away and made to feel like a letcher for asking for sex from his wife he is not really interested in going down that path with her anymore.  He is sick of rejection, and I complicate her situation with my living here and the open bedroom door policy I have with him.

I could move out but I just sold my home to be here. I have no energy for another move just yet, I am hoping that she will calm down but it is really tense around here.  I am stressed out to the max.,

I know a lot of you feel my presence is annoying but I want you to think of the other side of the fence too, we are all humans, and we all have faults.  It is easy to criticize someone else much harder to be brutally honest and admit you shortcomings.

To the divorce coach Lisa,  I never knew people breaking up needed coaching; I wish your title was "marriage coach".

I am pretty sure that in your job you see many couples with mismatched libido; do you always recommend the partner who wants to be touched supress those feelings,, buck up and engage in self gratification?  Because honestly, up until this week he was starved for her attention.

By the way, I am not interfering in her spending bed room time with her husband at all; except some may argue that me living here is interference enough. Still,  I think it is very unfair of her to deny him for so long and then at the realization that he and I are very compatable in all aspects, decide to change your mind.... Oh wait, I guess I will try a BJ (she never gave him one in 30 years! NOW she is willing?  )  I think it is absurd.

Beat me up some more I guess I still deserve it but honestly there are three sides to this story and I am only willing to take 1/3rd the blame.

SnS