My 2 Years ONGOING divorce and no end in sight. 

The strange thing is the divorce system is designed so that the weaker individual (by weaker I mean the one who is willing to give in rather than stand one's ground) will concede rather than go through this arduous process..that is why I suspect they say most cases are settled. From what I have learned is, judges don't want to make rulings and would prefer that both parties work it out. Well, in cases where you don't have a spouse who is using their divorce as means to exercise their anger issues, there is th chance of coming to reason, but then there are those of us who are divorcing people who have mentally checked out.My lawyer told me there are some people who when they get divorce they literally go insane with vindictiveness and will do whatever they can to run up the cost $$$..so for a lawyer this is good.In my case, I can't in this economy afford to feel like caving in because it's a matter of living in poverty after 16 years of marriage and my investment in our home. I am backed in a corner by a man who wanted the divorce but at the same time wants to leave me in financial ruin because he resents I simply won't back down.When I first went through the early stages I was fighting blindsided because I could not believe that the very man I had been with for so many years was behaving so crazy.How could he tell me, the person who built up his home together, stood by him when he opened his business, basically enabled him to establish himself here, because he is German and when he moved here he had nothing..and now he was in court trying to convince a judge I don't deserve anything. And it's all his. This is like a surreal divorce and people feel safe with their husbands think it could never happen to me and I say, I know there is not one woman I know who imagined the man they are divorcing would become angry bitter greedy monsters in a court. I am lucky that I did not have children with this man.  I would have gone mad.

Oh the horror!!  What you are experiencing is also one of my fears.  I met with my attorney in March 2009 and I believe my stbx was served divorce papers in May 2009 after hunting his whereabouts down.  I'm praying that by May 2010 my divorce will be behind me.  I could be fooling myself because my stbx is also narcissistic and vengeful with a sense of entitlement when he's done all the wrong doing in our marriage of 28 years.  Since I haven't reached the one year mark I don't know yet if my hound dog is going to try to make me spend what little I do have on legal bills.  I would not be surprised of course, I can only pray that he wants it over just as much as I do and just as quickly.

Divorce is painfully slow as it is without the added horror of having a stbx dragging it out for stupid and vindictive reasons.  Keep blogging here 'cause it's good for the soul.  I'll follow you too.  (((hugs)))

I can certainly understand your need to vent!!

I just passed the one year mark w/o being officially divorced......luckily, we are still civil but my stbxh is now now claiming poverty and says he can't pay what is owed to the mediator for the divorce that he asked for!

He also tried being petty when we were deciding the financial issues but I managed to make him understand how unfair he was being....he tried pulling that "I make more than you" crap with me....my response to that was "What about all the years that you were trying to get your business off the ground and I alone supported us and what about all the expensive toys you bought for yourself...with no thought to how the bills were going to get paid each month??".  I am dealing with an immature, narcisstic, possible bi-polar stbxh and it ain't easy, that's for sure!

What you are going through is sheer insanity.....amazes me how some of these ex's are so vindictive esp when it's been a long-term relationship...they would rather waste money on ridiculous court hearings and endless lawyer meetings/paperwork rather than be fair....

Good luck with this...hopefully, the judges will be able to get through to your stbx.....