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why is it so hard to find love again? 

I'm so scared that I will be alone forever.  Ive been separated/divorced for 4.5 years now.  I'm still lonely although its better than the misery my ex gave me.  I would rather be alone than live with him again.  He was so cruel and mean and still not nice to me, even though he was the one that cheated, lied and ran me into debt.  My situation had improved since moving here to CA finances are now back in order, he still torments me everynow and then but he cant do anything since he is in FL.  I just have this loneliness to deal with.  I havent really had any significant boyfriends and I want one.  Maybe not to get married, but just to date....I feel abnormal, like everyone else is married and here I am all alone.  He seems to have a great time..dating women half my age.  Great hurray for him..he wins again.  I dont understand....I seem to have had the burnt end of the deal...what about me and why? 
by kiddieRN  43 Posts 

Posted on 11/2/2009 7:14 PM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "why is it so hard to find love again?"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)
well, if it makes you feel any better, I am also 41 years old and feel the same way.  Who is ever going to want to be with me and my 4 kids.  That is such a really scary thought - are my kids going to be taking care of me when I am old because I won't have anyone else??  I know misery loves company, so if you ever want to chat with someone who is in the same boat as you, let me know!!
by terryabcd   28 Posts
Posted on 11/3/2009 10:42 PM
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One day I will be able to post that I have found someone who trully cares for me and one that I deserve.  I just dont believe its going to happen anymore..who would want a 41 year old, who has a 9 year old, who has a career?  I was just told that I was intimidating.  The fact that I have a job, an apartment, and can take care of myself is intimidating???? Really????! How come men have such fragile egos??
by kiddieRN   43 Posts
Posted on 11/3/2009 5:35 PM
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I know exactly how you feel.  I am not yet divorced yet, we have been seperated for 8 months now.  He left me for another woman, who has since dumped him.  We have 4 young kids together that we share custody of.  Of course, when the kids come home, they feel compelled to tell me about dad's "friends".  I feel like such a loser for being alone.  Why is it so easy for him??  I have been looking at online dating things and have talked to a couple of guys, but it hasn't gone any further than that.  I don't think I am anywhere near ready.  Just wish that I had some offers - I could say no, but it would make me feel better.  We were together for 16 years and I am having a real hard time really letting go and accepting that I am no longer married.  I wish you luck and happiness.  You (and I ) deserve it.
by terryabcd   28 Posts
Posted on 11/3/2009 2:19 PM
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I am not sure but I think once you have been married, you tend to carry yourself with hands off signals. Could be you still send out those signals, just a thought, I don't know. I work in a male dominated field so I think that helped as far gaining the confidence to "get out there". I agree with you, I would rather be alone than to be treated badly.
by militaryp   2952 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 7:22 PM
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