The truth is revealed 

A couple of weeks ago I posted my story of how my infidelity had ruined my marriage. One event long ago and then some emails exchanged between myself and an old classmate from junior high that I reconnected with on Facebook (the marriage killer). My wife had loaded software to crack my computer, discovered the emails. and then sent me packing. I received alot of advice and comments from people on this site, evenly split between those who had compassion for what I was going through and those who felt I got what I deserved.

Well now, like Paul Harvey, I know the rest of the story. It turns out that my ex-wife's suspicions of me where actually inititated because she was doing the exact same thing.. but had started BEFORE me! Seems that she had been addicted to Facebook and been spending night after late night on line reconnecting with all sorts of old high school friends and chatting for hours and hours every night. Then she took a four day trip back to her hometown and purposely didnt invite me to come with. Then she was unavailable for the first two of the nights. When I raised suspicions, she countered with "only those guilty get nervous about others".

A month later she cracked my computer, found three days worth of emails, and then pulled the plug on the marriage. She pushed through a divorce in record time, telling me that it was what she needed and that if I just suspended my rights and signed off after three months instead of the legal 6 months, she would take that as a positive sign for a possible reconcilliation afterwards. If I took alot less money, and pushed this through, then we could start all over again with a fresh slate. I bought it it hook, line and sinker. I signed off, and as soon as teh judge granted us our divorce, she blew me off and practically ran out of the courthouse...

Into the arms of a man she met on Facebook months earlier while she was in her home town. For months I have been agonizing over my guilt, and have fallen on the sword all this time feeling shameful and destraught. And then the truth comes out. While I was exchanging inappropriate emails with someone, she was starting a relationship with someone else. She obviously slept with him when she was out of town and wouldnt answer her phone either night.

I know this is one of the people she met on her mysterious trip. I found it odd that he kept trying to "friend" me on FB and I had no idea who he was. I wish I had been smart enough to do to her what she did to me, that is to load up spying software on her computer while she was out of town for those mysterious days. If that had happened, I probably would have discovered her indescretion way before I took mine.

How did I find out about the new man? Because the corpse of our marriage was barely cold before she started posting pictures of him up on Facebook with hearts drawn around him and both of them changing their facebook status to "in a relationship". Less than ten days after our divorce was final.

My point for writing this? I just wanted to show people that the facts arent always as clear as they appear to be. Like most situations, there are two sides to every story. My suspicions of her were true all along. I should have trusted my instincts and caught her while I had the upper hand. I just wanted to let people know that some times your gut reaction is the one that should follow. If you think something is up, it probably is. Trust but verify. Dont get suckered into a settlement with promises of what will happen afterwards. And dont pass judgement on what other people have done. Sometimes things arent always as clear as they seem.