How Long?? 

I never questioned how long my husband's relationship with the other woman would last.  I gave it God.  I was lied to for six months before I knew about the affair.  Their relationship crumbled into a million pieces a year and a half after it started.  Suddenly my husband wanted to reopen our relationship and the other woman is sending me "I'm on your side, he lied to me too" messages.  THIS was exactly what every person ever cheated on should witness.  Both of them wallowing in their own deceit and madness. I only wish that every person that has been where I was could witness the misery and panic that I have seen both of them go into once the fun was over.  You can't control it no matter how much you want to.  Give it God and what is meant to be will take place.  An affair can never go right.

I too wonder about that. My ex left me for a woman who has nothing to offer him. 4 kids - 3 husbands - divorcing the last one but can't afford to. Giving up custody of all kids so she can be with my ex. He is no prize but neither is she. So maybe they will realize it. I hear daily how she drags him down and it just amazes me that he is so f'n drunk and high and stupid that he can't see it. It eats me up inside. The man I took care of for 21 years is now throwing his life away with a skank. Yep, and it hurts to the core. I try not to let it and I really hope that this one doesn't last. Do I hope he eventually meets someone who is decent and caring and loves him and has something to offer him? Yes, I honestly do. THis skank? Nope. I wish he would realize that she only wants him for his "supposed" money and I DO use that term lightly. He was bragging to her about how much money HE had. Honey, I brought home more than you did the entire marriage so don't go throwing my income in there. SO let's see how far his income can spread when he owns a seasonal business in a bad economy. Been a bad summer for him so let's just see. Sitting back here, smiling and waiting.

I think it's normal that you would sort of like to see her relationship fail.  She broke up her home/family with you and it doesn't seem fair that she can go skipping off with someone else and live happily ever after while leaving you devasted.

Don't rearrange your schedule because you fear you may run into them.  If they come up to you, you just say "I have nothing to say to you" and turn and walk away, if they persist, you tell them to at least give you some respect and privacy while with your son.

Taking the high road is what you have been doing and I want you to know that you should be commended for that. Protecting your kids is so important. I would probably want to beat the sh*t out of that guy daily but thats just raw emotion without thought of consequence. Keep being the real man that she could not see, any piece of dog squeeze that can hit on or get with a married woman will get his payback 10 fold. Keep rollin bro, and thanks for the comment on my blog, means alot

Bluebird I appreciate your advice. I do try to keep her on her side of the fence, and I do pretty good at keeping my side of the fence clean. It is just so difficult when during my time with my son I cannot go to town because if one of them sees us here they come and they expect me to stand there and let them humiliate me in public. My time is my time and her time is her time and I wish they would respect that but if a person cannot respect themselves I cannot expect them to respect me. I try to be the example I should be it is just frustrating when you are the one getting dumped on. Well, thank you for your honesty and l look forward to reading some more of your posts.

Like with all relationships, romantic or otherwise, it all depends on the people involved.  Your marriage lasted 10 years...maybe this relationship will last 10 years...maybe 5 years...maybe forever.  There's really no way to predict.  I'm sure if you knew you were going to get divorced 10 years ago and why, you wouldn't have married her in the first place.

My advice is to quit worrying about her happiness or lack thereof...start looking to yourself and what YOU need to make you happy.  I do understand that you would prefer that this guy in her life disappeared b/c the combo of him and her seem to make your child custody issues more hellish than perhaps it would be otherwise...otoh, even if he were out of the picture, who's to say the NEXT guy won't be worse?  You just have to deal with the situation at hand and take it step at a time, incident at a time, and do your best to get through it.  Just be sure to take the high road in all this, if for no other reason than to show your child the right way to behave...you can't control your ex and her choices, but you can control you and yours.  Do your best to make the right ones.  I wish you luck with all this...I know it can't be easy for you.