Something I said to a client.... 

You know how to get the nasty strangling weeds out... I hope your client will heed your advice and move forward. Some people definitely take longer than others. Some almost seem as if overnight wasn't fast enough. Others take years...
We all have free will and choices and the fact we will not be able to convince others of our wishes is difficult to say the least. Especially when you know moving forward is the best for your client.
Sitting back watching our children while making choices can be trying at times as well. Yes, I will include wanting to change a stbx/ex of the way they are thinking or acting is a challenge as well.
Alrighty then, my tangent is gaining momentum and I need to stop and acknowledge you are wise wonderful woman who gives great advice. Thank you for your generous time and words of wisdom.

Spaz,

In a way I wish you were my STBX's attorney so you could give her the "stuck on stupid" speech. She sure could use it!

And I'll ditto the kudos for BlueB's comment. I've tried to say the same thing in many posts, and it's nice to see someone else voicing the same sentiments.

I know I can't control what my STBX does, I can only control how I react to her crap. And I sometimes do get angry, but it passes quickly when I realize just how nonsensical and irrational she is, and I end up laughing instead. I believe some of what she does is intended to anger me. So when I don't react that way, I win (which I'm sure makes her even more angry...awww). And I'm happier because laughter is the best medicine; much better than ingesting the snake-in-the-grass venom being tossed your way!

Being happy and not letting the crap drag you down makes you the clear winner. And boy, that is the best revenge!

Great words, Spaz!  Love it!  I have tried to not let this divorce define me.  Yes, I get very angry still at times, but I am trying to work on it.  I'm getting on with my life!

Blue B, I like your comments. My first decision in my split was that I did not want to become bitter. It is a fine line, I am constantly thinking about my demands of my ex and rehearsing what I am going to say to him because I dont want to come across as the bitter women in all of this. I will be honest, I can get very angry sometimes, alot of the time I can be downright disgusted with him. But I try not to let it show. I have been practicing letting it go and moving on. I am sure he takes anything I say (that he doesn't agree with) and thinks I am just being bitter, but oh well, as long as I know I am not being spitefult that's what counts!

Wish you had been my divorce lawyer :-)

Thanks Spaz!

spaz~
When I read the title to your post I thought....."O Boy what the hell did she do" ***Giggllzzzz***

Good advice tho', we can't let it define us. Granted it may take a while for us to 'find' ourselves again, but we are still the same and if we'd open our eyes up to it, we are even quite a bit wiser after the big D hits!

sometimes I would like to be a fly on your office walls lol
Terri

Good advice as usual Spaz......but WOW is it ever hard to follow sometimes.   Each day I try really hard.....some days I make good progress in the forward direct.  But I still have those occassional days where I would just love for him to spontaneously combust and disappear.   :o)

Thanks Spaz..I needed that!  I love your post...keep them coming!!

Very sage advice Spaz.  I consider myself lucky that my divorce wasn't as messy or as adversarial as most, but I can see where it can become very easy to become hostile and bitter all the time.

The only thing I can add to this is that you may not be able to control your ex/stbx or their actions...but you CAN control you and yours.  Life is full of choices...you can CHOOSE to be bitter and hateful towards your ex/stbx for all that they've done (and in the cases where there are children, will continue to do), or you can let go of the hate and pursue the things that will make you happy again.  Living well is the best revenge.