Facebook request, you have got to be kidding! 

Seems like everyone has facebook these days. I have it, my kids have it and guess what, so does my ex...My son is friends with his dad on facebook, my daughter is not... I have been curious but haven't asked my daughter about it....My ex and I have several mutual friends on facebook but we are not friends on facebook, I mean why would we?

I opened my yahoo the other day and there was a notification that my ex had requested me as a friend on facebook? WTF? Seriously, what is he up to? Why would he request me as a friend but not add his own daughter? That man drives me crazy sometimes trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with his head.

He called my daughter on Saturday and wanted to know if her and her brother wanted to go bowling. I am sure he tried my son but couldn't get him since he was playing football. The football game had been postponed from thursday until saturday due to illness. My ex asked my daughter why nobody let him know the game had been changed. She told him that since he never comes to the games, it didn't occur to anyone to tell him. She could have just as easily said that since he didn't make any effort to know what is going on in his own kids lives, that is why he doesn't know. She didn't however. He asked about later after the game, my daughter told him that my son had homecoming with his girlfriend. My ex said, "Oh, well if you two want to go on Sunday, let me know." They did go bowling on Sunday, of course, the girlfriend was there. He only sees the kids about once a month for about 2 hours if that but he can't even give them his undivided attention for that long and he wonders what the problem is?

I thought about a way to try to tell him what the issue is, but then I figured, how can he not know? There also isn't a way I could broach the subject without sounding like the bitchy, bitter ex wife. I am leaving it alone even though I would love to tell him what a jackass he is as far as the kids are concerned. I cannot believe he walked away from being their dad. When he does see them, he acts like there are no problems at all. Is that called avoidance or does he really not get it? I don't know for sure but it blows my mind that he wouldn't be able to see it.

As far as the facebook thing, I am not adding him. He makes me tired trying to figure him out so I wonder why I even attempt it. I am thankful there is no pain when I think of him now. There are no "I wish"es either. Frankly, I am in a healthier place personally without him. I don't know if that is true for my kids but they are doing ok.

I don't suppose you ever get real closure in divorce. I have made peace with myself as far as knowing I gave it everything I could. I don't guess you ever understand how someone that you loved as much as you did could just stop loving you after that many years. I would probably still love him if it wasn't for the way he did my kids. Even though I have forgiven him for his treatment of me, I can't forgive how he has been with our kids. That is what killed my feelings for him. It is what makes me want no part of him in my life.

My kids deserve so much better than what they got. I don't have a way to make that up to them. That does hurt, the fact that in this, I couldn't protect my kids. That is the only thing that still causes me pain. I don't know if that ever goes away. That is the only smudge to my happiness. I have been promoted at work, I have a good relationship with my kids, I have wonderful friends, I have a boyfriend that makes me just melt with his thoughtfulness. I have a good relationship with my ex in laws. I have a good job and a nice house. I drive an 11 year old vehicle but it is paid for. I have no debt other than my home and I am managing that on my own. Yes, I have much to be thankful for. I just have that one wish, that my ex would stand up and be a dad to his own kids. They say you should be careful what you wish for, but I think my kids need their dad, or maybe they need the man he once was, maybe they are better off without the man he is now...I just don't know.