Emotional Abuse 

I was mentally abused, by my ex's . I think it has something to do with how we see our self. I was abused as a child also. So it seem normal to have someone scream and yell and belittle you all the time...  it is hard to see how it is damaging you little by little while your in the marriage.. Its all about self worth.. So how much are you worth? Love yourself enough, to not allow anyone to be mean and mistreat you...  we all have disagreements, and that's fine.. but for someone to belittle you because, you think  and act different is wrong

It wasn't me who suggested I was emotionally abused it was my sister.  She said 8 yrs ago you would have kicked his ass to the curb for the shit he has done to you what happened to you.  Did he abuse you.  I said no he never hit me.  She said there are other forms of abuse.  I found a great website and book that in just a short time have really helped me out.  It made me look at the way emotional abuse has affected my personality.  I was bright, happy, so full of life.  I wasn't that person anymore, and yes things happen but you don't go from an independent person to what i had become in 8 years without something seriously affecting you.  I was tired of feeling the way I did about myself but I didn't do anything to change it.  You have to really realize what emotional abuse is, and what it does to you.  I am surprised at just realizing that this did happen to me has helped.

totally agree with u gurls on this one i was in a situation where i was mentally and emotionally abused and it does scar the heart. hurts terribly married 14 yrs and he didnt care to help do anything i was the everything and things he did and said hurt worse than the act of violence and threats.igot out when i seen he wasnt going to change and im a lot happier now than ever before. But it does stay with u exspecially when u are in a new relationship... not knowing what to exspect from the other person and ectra.

Emotional abuse is an over used phrase. It can mean a million things to a million people. Some people think asking for a divorce is emotional abuse. It cheapens real abuse. Real physical abuse is nothing like emotional abuse.  It is different. Not saying EA is not significant. But need to put in perspective and if it is just someone ignoring, hardly the same as someone calling you at work every hour or screaming obscenities in your ear.  So figure out yourself how bad it is and see a counselor to get honest feed back.

I've been married 28 years and  emotionally abused for 24 years.  I knew I should have left a long time ago.  I'm finally divorcing this sub-human man and I have only myself to blame for staying so long.  If he had hit me I would have been out in a flash.  Outsiders think he's a great guy, however, those who lived with him know how horrible he is.  I don't have physical scars but now I'm letting the world know who he really is and they're shocked to hear my story.

 

No one will advise you to stay in the marriage if they knew the truth and the details.   The emotional abuse is worse than the physical because it's hidden and it takes longer to heal from it.   Folks mean well with their comments when they don't see black eyes and blood and believe emotional bad behavior can be easily fixed.  I learned the hard way and got out way too late.

If you don't leave the verbally abusive relationship you are in danger of hating yourself so much, that you might consider suicide.  I fell across the Verbally Abusive Relationship Book when &^%$ hit the fan with me.  If I didn't leave, I'd be dead.

I thought my life was ok until I sought a wonderful therapist years ago.  She did not tell me what to do, just listened and recommended a book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship". I bought it, started it and put it down wondering why she wanted ME to read it.  After all, this wasn't me!  Something happened the next day making me pick the book up and start reading. Not only reading, but highlighting!  I stayed up all night finishing that book and when I was finished, it was all yellow.  Because nearly everything pertained to me and my situation. I went back to my therapist and said I was in denial, wasn't I?  She said,"yes, youi were!"  Recognition is the first step.  I tried for years to hang on due to religious reasons and family, to no avail.  I told him he was abusive in a kind manner and wanted him to seek counseling. There was nothing wrong with him!!!!!!!!! So, he finally ended our 36 yr marriage. I have since read every book out there and know that he is either bipolar or borderline personality disorder. I have given 4 of the above books away. Most women do not recognize their situation, as I didn't.  Emotional abuse is worse than physical.  It leaves internal scars.  I now realize how blessed I am to be out of that marriage. He is someone elses problem now,and it will eventually raise it's ugly head. I post on dating sites that I do not want any mental issues.  Must be a lot of issues out there, since I don't receive any interest. But that is ok, if it saves me from another hell on earth.  Another good book is "Stop walking on Eggshells"  If any of you would like someone to share your story with, feel free to contact me.  God bless you all!

don't feel stupid, M.

I had no idea i was being verbally and emotionally abused. I always thought it was just his way. I never told anyone the things that went on in our marriage because I felt like it was my fault and i was ashamed. Now that we've been separated for 6 months i've been opening up to people that are close to me. The other day my mom said "What he did to you was just as bad as if he were hitting you." That's when I opnened my eyes to how bad the marriage really was, how controlling and hurtful he was. M, there is no difference. Whether they hit you with fists or words it still scarrs your head and your heart. 

My ex managed to alienate me from friends and family...and that's a scary prospect to leave everything you have for the unknown. It takes a lot of strength and courage. But it's worth it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a good life.

I have made up in my mind to leave, but I do want to be in a safe place bcuz I really do not know anyone here.  But that sounds like a excuse, which makes me feel stupid for staying.

There is no difference. One you see the marks of the pounding on the outside the other no one sees the marks of the abuse. If I have ever led anyone to believe they should stay with emotional abuse I am very sorry. You need to make a plan and leave safely.