I feel happy today and don't want it to end!! 

Wonderful!  Six months ago, I would not have believed that I could have days and days without pain.  Six months ago, I still felt like I took 5 steps back for every one step forward.  Now, however, even though, honestly, I know I have a long ways to go, I feel like most of the time I'm inching forward, if not taking steps forward.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm standing in place, but at least I'm not moving back. 

There is life for us.  There is hope for us.  There is a good world out there and positive things yet in store.  Just keep moving forward!

Im afraid that when the hectic schedule Im maintaining comes to a halt in December, and I can no longer lose myself in my work and school...that all of the reality of the loss will smash me like a ton of bricks...I have moments now when I think about it and lose it...I enjoyed your post because it gives me some hope, and an Idea of how to handle this...

Just a note...I have moments when I feel the failure...everyday...but the one positive is I read the comments on the post and it brings a smile to my face.  That brings back the happy feeling.  You are right, we are a unique group brought together by circumstances we never dreamed we would have to face...but here we are.  I chose the name joyful for a reason...I did not feel that at all but knew someday I wanted to.  I have lived thru being called every name in the book well verbally abused..that still happens.  The ow exists, but has opened a door to my well being.   So I am hear to report today is a good day...I am here..it is my own life.  A heart felt thank you to you all!  I may post a bad day but at least I have 360..and can read this post to bring me back to the happy feeling that lies within! I am here for you as well, my friends!

Hi Joyful -

So glad to see all the folks who have realized the two ingredients for moving past the pain....

gratefulness....   for all that our higher power puts before us
 
acceptance...    the hardest part of life is accepting reality when we don't like it

Once we have accomplished these two hurdles, we have embraced all the parts of ourselves and can move forward with our lives. 

Gratefulness...
Acceptance...

Good for you, Joyful. I'm starting to bounce back a little myself. Just appreciating the enjoyment in the little things. The book I'm listening to on the way to work. Hot coffee. The many things I enjoy about my job. Just hanging out with my kids. No, things are not perfect. There are moments-- heck, there are whole DAYS--- when I'm ready to scream... but mostly I'm contented to be sleeping in my single bed with the dog on my feet.

Hope you are enjoying the little things too.

i know right! life is starting to be about more than my divorce, more than my pain. actually i know the grieving is over. sometimes i go for hours without even thinking about him and he'll pop into my head and i'll laugh to myself like "wow i forgot he even existed". its too funny. lately ive been having the best time and have developed so many little crushes on so many different people. its like being young again. another opportunity for romance and butterflies! its all good!!!!

Isn't a fabulous feeling when you wake up and realize you CAN be happy?  OMG!  After all the pain and heartbreak, you realize it does get better. 

Last year, I left my ex, didn't see my kids for 4 months, lost one of my best friends and my house was damagedextensively due to Hurricane Ike.  I thought I'd never tet through the bad times.  But, you know what?  One day, I woke up and didn't feel like crying.  Then, another day I woke up and actually LAUGHED!  Then, the good days started outnumbering the bad days.  It was the most amazing thing.

This is the beginning of the best!  Go out there and have the time of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, thank you to all who responded...and today I am happy as well.  I know my future won't be all happiness but I am starting to realize it will be mine alone.  Maybe that is why I feel this way.  I  have so far to go...finding a job, meeting atty's, dealing with my children and their pain, actually speaking to my stbx and meeting the ow and her husband & son.  Moving from my home and leaving a very big part of my life behind.  Taking  half of what I thought was my life and leaving half behind.  Holidays, families and new surroundings.  Major changes as well as small.  But, I will get thru this with support and feel happy I am not the ow.  I only think of what is important to me and my children.  Feelings will change and my life will...but I am searching for good in each day.  So today I am happy again..why..life is good today!!

You are having a time of understanding.  Careful you don't set yourself up for a fall because you "don't want happiness to end."  Just like day turns into night turns into day turns into night etc.  All things rise up then pass away, not always when or how we want but the natural law says they will.  Just experience each feeling and watch it work its way through.  If you cling to the past feeling of happiness when you don't feel that way you will only make yourself sadder.  Happiness will rise again.  Best wishes.

Very glad to read that you are having a bit of happiness.  Hopefully soon it will go from one day to a week to a month, and so on to have a complete happy life!

Those are my sentiments as well.  It does get easier with the passage of time.  Healing is part of the human experience, and nothing really replaces our loss, but we can grow and become individuals of extreme dynamics to move us toward fullfillment.  Many have never had such experiences as we have endured.  We must look at ourselves with privleges and opportunities that we never thought possible.  Doors open, as we discover new beginings and endeavours.  When difficulties arise, so do opportunities.

Each day does have it's own anxieties, and we must cope with these as they enter our day.  There is so much to celebrate in out lives, we tend to dwell on the failures more than we should.  We are in a club that none of us want to belong in, but we can look at the positives and successes as motivating factors to move us forward.

Look after your health, and plan goals in your life, which will encourage you to keep going despite the odds.  It has been a pleasure to see your blog, which has heightened my day.  Keep your chin up and never give up.  You have values and you are to be commended for the success you have displayed here.  I am glad to have met you.

I'm so happy for you joyful.  It's such a revelation when you realize you will survive and can be happy someday.  Good for you!

Lovely post!  It takes time, but things do get better.  Glad to hear you had a great day!

Good for you. The hard part for me was learning to take my own advise and enjoying life as it comes. 
I am glad you are doing well. Keep taking care of you.

Joyful I am glad you are happy.  I am not going to rain on your day.  You need to remember this feeling and why you feel like that because there will be days you may not.  But if you remember this and the reason why it will push you past a set back or lonely period.  Being lonely isn't so bad its actually more scary because you don't have things and people distracting you from yourself.  I have learned so much about myself and who truly cares about me in the past few months.  They are a small group but genuine and I would take them over a hundred false friends which I have lost in the past few months.  You will find more days like this in your future because you have changed your mindset. 

Its good to feel this way :)  You need to make sure its