Divorce: A Journey Throught Pain and Recovery 

Reflecting back to a sad January, four years ago... Divorce and Deep Pain for all of our family.

I remember this part of my journey towards recovery surreal and dull.

The Beginning:

Creating images of the dark days in my mind, I imagine a dark forest. My feet are stuck in the thick, deep mud of the earth. I am small, alone and weak as I try to look up and around, but the trees are too dense and it is very dark. I feel trapped, scared and uncertain. I have not been in this place before. I do not want to be in this place again. I attempt to reach out for support of branch, a soft sound or the comfort of something familiar. I am lost. The world is quiet and my head is noisy. I do not know how to escape these most dreadful feelings. I can not find a way out of this dense, entangled mess that started long ago. I feel hopeless. I cry and fall asleep on the floor of this ominous forest.

The Awakening:

I open my eyes and something feels different within and around me....When I look up, I see the most radiant sunlight I have ever seen peaking through the tops of the tall trees. The rays warm my heart, illuminate my spirit and bring comfort to my mind. I want to see more light. I begin to move around, test out my feet and explore the earth. My body is alive and full of energy. I start to feel grounded in this unfamiliar earth. I feel safe from the elements on my own two feet. My mind creates beautiful images of people and places with vibrant yet serene colors. ...I see happy souls, playful spirits, authentic love...The events are unclear at this point but I Trust The Universe for the first time on this planet. I am confident the world is offering endless opportunities for me to create a new life, an authentic life. Now the real journey begins.

 My hope is that you and your family can find healthy ways to communicate, share and compromise as your you create new patterns and find your true identities. 

This quote continues to inspire me on my journey:

"Of a paradoxical discovery...That to truly find yourself, You must first lose yourself."Pavlo Ruffini  

I am looking forward to the possibilities in 2009,

Wishing you peace in this new year, mylifeinstruction